Orientations & Identities – What does akoisexual mean?
Akoisexual
Akoisexual describes someone who feels sexual attraction, but loses it or feels uncomfortable once the other person returns the interest, so the attraction works best when it stays one-sided.
What does akoisexual mean?
Akoisexual is a label from online ace communities, and an older name for it is lithosexual. It describes someone who feels sexual attraction but loses it, or feels uneasy, when the other person returns it. A crush on a celebrity or a fictional character can feel great, because it stays one-sided. When a real person flirts back, the feeling often fades. Akoisexual sits on the ace spectrum, and many akoisexual people have no wish to act on their attraction at all.
Is akoisexual the same as fear of commitment?
No. Commitment phobia is about fearing closeness in relationships. Akoisexual describes how sexual attraction itself works for someone, and it can go along with wanting love and a stable partnership. Feelings can have many roots, though. If lost interest comes with anxiety or past hurt, talking to a therapist can help you sort out what’s an orientation and what you’d like to work on.
Can an akoisexual person date?
Yes, though it may look different. Some keep romance and sex separate, others date people who are fine with little or no sexual reciprocity. Clear words help a partner not take it personally: the fading attraction isn’t a judgement about them. Agree together on what intimacy looks like for you, and check in as things change.