BDSM Roles – What does Sub mean?
Sub
A sub is the person who hands over control in a consensual power exchange, by choice and within limits agreed beforehand with their Dom.
What does Sub mean?
Sub is short for submissive, from the Latin “submittere”, to lower or place under. A sub is the person who hands over control in a consensual power exchange, by choice and within agreed limits. Being a sub isn’t about being weak. Many subs are confident people who enjoy letting go, following instructions or being taken care of. The sub sets the limits, and the safe word is always theirs to use.
Is being a sub normal?
Yes. Submission is one of the most common sexual fantasies, across all genders. Wanting to give up control in bed says nothing about how you run the rest of your life. For many it’s a relief, no decisions, just feeling. What matters is that it’s your choice, your limits are respected and you feel good afterwards.
How do you start as a sub?
Start by knowing your limits. Write down what you’d like to try, what’s a maybe and what’s a hard no, and share it with your partner. Agree on a safe word, begin with something light like being told what to do or having your hands held down, and talk afterwards. Aftercare matters for subs, so ask for what you need, whether that’s cuddles, water or quiet.