Kink Talk – What are honorifics?
Honorifics
Honorifics are titles like Sir, Ma’am, Mistress or Master that a sub uses for a dominant partner to show respect and the agreed power dynamic.
What are honorifics?
Honorifics goes back to the Latin “honor”, meaning respect or esteem, and in everyday language it means any title of respect. In BDSM, honorifics are titles like Sir, Ma’am, Mistress or Master that a sub uses for a dominant partner to show respect and the agreed dynamic. They range from a playful “yes, Sir” during a scene to strict protocol where the title is used all the time. Some couples invent their own, from Goddess to a pet name only the two of them understand.
Can you call any Dom Sir or Mistress?
No. Honorifics are agreed between partners, never assumed. Someone you just met at a munch is not your Sir or Mistress, and calling them that can come across as pushy or as giving away something you never negotiated. The same goes the other way, a Dom has no right to demand a title from a sub who isn’t theirs. Within a relationship, decide together which title fits and when it applies, for example only in scenes or in everyday life too.
Why do people write Dom with a capital and sub in lowercase?
It’s an online convention in many D/s circles, where the capital letter signals respect for the dominant and the lowercase signals the sub’s position. Some subs even write “i” instead of “I” about themselves. It’s a choice, not a rule. Many people ignore it completely, and in your own dynamic you decide whether it adds something or just feels silly.