Kink Talk – What does Veto mean?
Veto
Veto is a polyamory agreement that gives one partner, usually a primary, the right to ask the other to end or not start another relationship.
What does Veto mean?
Veto comes from Latin and literally means “I forbid”, the word Roman tribunes used to block decisions. In polyamory it means a partner’s agreed right to end, or prevent, one of their partner’s other relationships. A veto is typical of hierarchical polyamory, where a primary couple sets rules for outside relationships. Some couples only allow it before a new relationship starts, others at any time.
Is a veto fair in polyamory?
It’s one of the most debated rules in polyamory, and whether it’s fair depends a lot on how it’s used. Critics point out that the third person has no say, even though their relationship is on the line. If you use one, tell new partners about it upfront, keep it as a rare emergency brake and talk through the reasons instead of just pulling it.
What are alternatives to a veto?
Many polyamorous people swap the veto for open conversations, where a partner can voice concerns but each person decides about their own relationships. Clear agreements on time, safer sex and privacy often cover the fears a veto is meant to calm. Regular check-ins help you spot problems early, before anyone feels they need a hard stop.