Kink Talk – What is a wingman or wingwoman?
Wingman & Wingwoman
A wingman or wingwoman is a friend who helps you meet and talk to someone you’re interested in, by breaking the ice, talking you up and having your back.
What is a wingman or wingwoman?
Wingman comes from military aviation, where the wingman flies beside and slightly behind the lead pilot to protect them. In dating, it’s a friend who helps you meet and talk to someone you’re interested in. The term has been used for dating since the late 20th century and was made famous by films. Wingwoman and wingperson are newer forms. A good wing introduces you, starts the conversation, talks you up, keeps the other person’s friend company and helps you exit if it goes badly. You’ll find them in bars, but also in swinger and kink clubs, where a friend helps newcomers feel safe.
What makes a good wingman or wingwoman?
A good wing is a supporter, not the star of the show. They know what you’re looking for, read the room and talk you up honestly. They’re fun with the friend group, notice when the vibe is off and have an agreed signal ready to get you out. Above all, they care that everyone, you included, has a good night.
What should a wingman never do?
A wingman should never pressure anyone, not you and not the person you’re talking to. A no is a no, so they don’t ignore it or try to talk someone round. They don’t lie about you to make you look better. And they never leave a friend alone who is drunk or uncomfortable. Leaving together if needed is part of the job.