Kink Talk – What does Stealthing mean?
Stealthing
Stealthing is secretly removing or damaging a condom during sex without the other person’s consent, which makes it a violation of consent, not a kink.
What does Stealthing mean?
Stealthing comes from the English word “stealth”, meaning doing something secretly so nobody notices. It means removing or damaging a condom during sex without the other person knowing or agreeing. Someone agreed to sex with a condom, not without one. Taking that protection away in secret exposes them to STIs and possible pregnancy and breaks the agreement they said yes to. It is not a kink and not a gray area.
Is stealthing illegal?
Often, yes. Courts in Germany and several other countries have treated stealthing as a sexual offence. Laws differ from country to country, so a counselling service or legal advice can tell you what applies where you live. Reporting it to the police is possible. It helps to write down what happened, when and with whom as soon as you can.
What should you do after stealthing?
Act fast. If there is any HIV risk, get PEP as soon as possible, ideally within hours, at a hospital emergency room or an HIV specialist practice. If pregnancy is possible, emergency contraception works best the sooner you take it. Plan STI tests for the coming weeks, since some infections only show up later. A counselling service for sexual violence can support you, whether or not you report it. None of this is your fault.