Orientations & Identities – What does coming out mean?
Coming Out
Coming out is telling others about your sexual orientation or gender identity, often step by step, to friends, family, partners or colleagues, at your own pace.
What does coming out mean?
Coming out is short for “coming out of the closet”, where the closet stands for hiding who you are. It means telling others about your sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s a process, not one big moment. Most people come out many times, first to themselves, then to friends, family, new colleagues or a new partner. You decide who knows, when and how.
How do you come out safely?
Start with someone you trust and who will likely react well, and go at your own pace. If you depend on people who might react badly, for housing or money, waiting or having a plan B can be wise. LGBTQIA+ counselling services and community groups can help you prepare. Being outed by someone else without your consent is never okay. Your story is yours to tell.
Can you come out about a kink?
Yes, and many people call it that. Telling a partner about a kink is a smaller kind of coming out, and the same basics help, a calm moment, your pace, no pressure. Start with what you enjoy and why, and make clear your partner is free to say no. A kink isn’t an identity like your orientation, but sharing it still takes trust and deserves a kind reaction.