Kink Talk – What does Sexual Coercion mean?
Sexual Coercion
Sexual coercion is pressuring someone into sex or sexual acts through guilt, threats, nagging or manipulation, often by pushing on after they have already said no.
What does sexual coercion mean?
Coercion comes from the Latin “coercere”, meaning to restrain or to force. Sexual coercion means pressuring someone into sex through guilt, threats, nagging or manipulation, instead of accepting their answer. It doesn’t need violence to count. Sulking until the other person gives in, “if you loved me you would”, threatening to leave or to share private photos, or getting someone too drunk to say no are all coercion. It happens on dates and with strangers, and just as much inside long relationships.
Is a yes after pressure real consent?
No. A yes that only comes after nagging, guilt or fear is not a free yes, and consent has to be given freely. Real consent means your partner could say no without being punished, sulked at or left. If you notice you keep pushing after a no, stop and accept it. If you notice you keep saying yes just to make the pressure stop, something is wrong, and it’s not you.
Where can you get help after sexual coercion?
You can turn to a counselling service for sexual violence, a doctor you trust or the police, and what happened is never your fault. Many counselling services are free and confidential, and they also help if you’re unsure whether what happened “counts”. You decide what comes next, whether that’s talking, getting medical care or reporting it. A friend you trust can come along.