Orientations & Identities – What does fraysexual mean?
Fraysexual
Fraysexual describes someone who feels sexual attraction mostly to people they don’t know well, with that attraction fading as emotional closeness grows.
What does fraysexual mean?
Fraysexual is a microlabel from online asexuality communities, usually explained through the English verb “fray”, meaning to wear thin. It describes someone whose sexual attraction fades as they get to know a person better and an emotional bond forms. That’s why it’s often called the opposite of demisexual. Attraction to strangers or new acquaintances can be strong, while it tends to fade in close relationships, even when love and trust stay.
Is fraysexual on the asexual spectrum?
Yes. Fraysexual is usually counted as part of the ace spectrum, because sexual attraction only shows up under one condition, here a lack of emotional closeness. Like graysexual or demisexual, it’s a label for describing your own experience, not a diagnosis. You can be fraysexual and gay, straight, bi or anything else, since it describes when attraction shows up, not to whom.
What’s the difference between fraysexual and demisexual?
They are mirror images. Demisexual people only feel sexual attraction once a strong bond exists, while fraysexual people feel it mostly before that bond and lose it as closeness grows. Neither is better or worse. Some fraysexual people build happy relationships by separating love from sex, or by talking openly with a partner about what desire looks like for them.