Relationship Styles – What does Codependency mean?
Codependency
Codependency is a relationship pattern in which you define your worth through your partner’s needs, problems and moods, often caring for them so much that your own needs disappear.
What does Codependency mean?
The term comes from addiction counselling in the 1970s and 1980s, where it first described partners of people with alcohol problems who organised their whole life around the addiction. Today codependency means defining your worth through your partner’s needs, problems and moods. It isn’t an official diagnosis, and caring deeply for someone is not codependency. The line is crossed when your own needs, friends and boundaries keep shrinking to keep the other person stable or happy.
What are signs of codependency?
Typical signs are feeling responsible for your partner’s feelings, struggling to say no, covering for their behaviour and feeling anxious or empty when you’re not needed. Many codependent people also lose touch with what they actually want, in daily life and in bed. If you can’t remember the last time you put yourself first, that’s worth a closer look.
How do you get out of codependency?
Start small: notice your own needs, practise saying no and rebuild friendships and hobbies that belong only to you. Therapy or support groups help many people untangle the old patterns, which often go back to childhood. If your partner has an addiction or treats you badly, getting outside support matters even more.