Kink Talk – What does Benching mean?
Benching
Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup option, with just enough contact to keep them interested, while you date other people.
What does Benching mean?
Benching comes from sports, where a coach keeps a player “on the bench” as a substitute, ready but not playing. In dating it means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup, with just enough contact to keep them interested, while you date other people. In practice it looks like occasional texts, likes and vague “we should hang out soon” messages that never turn into real plans. You’re not quite rejected, but you’re never picked either.
How do you know if you’re being benched?
The clearest sign is a pattern of warm contact without any follow-through. They reply late, cancel or keep plans vague, then pop up again just when you start to move on. If you’re unsure, ask directly what they’re looking for. A clear answer, or a dodge, tells you a lot.
What’s the difference between benching and ethical non-monogamy?
The difference is honesty. In ethical non-monogamy everyone knows about the other partners and has agreed to the setup. Benching runs on vagueness. The person on the bench thinks they’re still in the running and doesn’t know they’re a backup. Dating several people at once is fine, as long as everyone knows where they stand.