Relationship Styles – What does Mixed-Orientation Marriage mean?
Mixed-Orientation Marriage
A mixed-orientation marriage is a marriage or long-term relationship between partners with different sexual orientations, for example a bisexual or gay person with a straight partner.
What does Mixed-Orientation Marriage mean?
Mixed-orientation marriage, often shortened to MOM, describes a marriage or long-term relationship between partners with different sexual orientations. Common examples are a bisexual woman with a straight man, or a gay man with a straight woman. Some couples know from the start. Others face it later, when one partner comes out after years together. Being bi in a relationship with someone of another gender is also a mixed-orientation relationship, even if it looks straight from the outside.
Is a mixed-orientation marriage the same as a lavender marriage?
No. A lavender marriage is an arrangement, often to hide one or both partners’ queerness from family or society, and usually without romantic love between the spouses. A mixed-orientation marriage can be a fully loving, sexual relationship. The difference in orientation is simply part of it, and ideally both partners know about it and choose the relationship freely.
Can a mixed-orientation marriage work?
Yes, many do, especially when the queer partner can be open about who they are. Honesty, respect for each other’s identity and a willingness to talk about sex are key. Some couples stay monogamous, others open the relationship so the queer partner can explore. After a late coming-out, both partners often need time and support, and a queer-friendly couples therapist can help. Ending the relationship can also be a fair outcome.