Queer History Terms

24/7

24/7 describes a power-exchange relationship that runs all day, every day, so the D/s dynamic continues in everyday life instead of only during scenes.

4Cs

4Cs stands for Caring, Communication, Consent and Caution, a BDSM ethics framework that adds care for each other’s wellbeing to the classic focus on consent and safety.

69

69 is a sex position in which two partners lie head to toe and give each other oral sex at the same time.

A-Spot

The A-spot is a sensitive area deep inside the vagina, on the front wall just before the cervix, that some people find pleasurable to stimulate with deep, gentle pressure.

ABDL

ABDL, short for Adult Baby Diaper Lover, describes adults who enjoy wearing diapers, regression play or both, for comfort, stress relief or arousal, and it is not always sexual.

Abrosexual

Abrosexual describes an orientation that changes regularly, sometimes over years, sometimes within days.

Ace Spectrum

The Ace Spectrum is the umbrella term for asexual identities, covering everyone who feels little, rare or only conditional sexual attraction, from asexual to demisexual, graysexual and beyond.

Achillean

Achillean is an umbrella word for men and non-binary people who are attracted to men, whether they are gay, bi, pan or queer.

Aegosexual

Aegosexual describes someone who enjoys sexual fantasies, erotic stories or porn, but feels little or no desire to actually take part in sex with another person.

AFAB & AMAB

AFAB & AMAB stand for “assigned female at birth” and “assigned male at birth”, describing the sex a doctor or midwife recorded when someone was born, regardless of their gender identity.

Aftercare

Aftercare is the care partners give each other after sex or a scene, like closeness, water, a blanket, kind words and a talk about what just happened.

Afterglow

Afterglow is the warm, relaxed and close feeling that lingers after sex or orgasm, when your body calms down and you feel connected to yourself or your partner.

Against the Wall

Against the Wall is a standing sex position where one partner leans their back or chest against a wall while the other presses close, popular for quickies, shower sex and rough sex.

Age-Gap Relationship

An age-gap relationship is a relationship between two adults with a noticeable difference in age, often big enough that they are at different stages of life.

Agender

Agender describes people who don’t feel they have a gender at all, or who feel neutral about gender, rather than identifying as a man or a woman.

Ahegao

Ahegao is an exaggerated “pleasure face” from adult anime and manga art, with the tongue out, eyes rolled up and flushed cheeks, now also a meme and selfie pose.

Airtight

Airtight is a porn term for one person having their mouth, vagina and anus penetrated at the same time, usually by three partners or by partners combined with toys.

Akoisexual

Akoisexual describes someone who feels sexual attraction, but loses it or feels uncomfortable once the other person returns the interest, so the attraction works best when it stays one-sided.

Algospeak

Algospeak is coded language, like “seggs” for sex or “corn” for porn, that people use on social media to avoid having their posts hidden, demonetised or removed by automated moderation.

Alloromantic

Alloromantic describes people who feel romantic attraction to others, the experience of falling in love and wanting romance, and it is the counterpart to aromantic.

Allosexual

Allosexual describes people who experience sexual attraction to others in the usual, regular way. It’s the opposite of asexual.

Ally

An ally is someone outside a group, most often a straight or cis person, who actively supports LGBTQIA+ people and their rights.

Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity is the widespread assumption that everyone wants a romantic, exclusive relationship and that such a relationship is more valuable than friendship, singlehood or other ways of living.

Amazon

Amazon is a sex position where one partner lies on their back with knees pulled up toward the chest, while the other squats on top and takes full control of the movement.

Ambiamory

Ambiamory describes being happy in either a monogamous or a non-monogamous relationship, depending on the partner and the situation, without strongly needing one or the other.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are a row of linked beads inserted into the anus one by one and pulled out slowly, often timed for the moment of orgasm.

Anal Douche

An anal douche is a squeeze bulb or shower attachment used to gently rinse the rectum with water before anal play, if you want to feel extra clean.

Anal Hook

An anal hook is a curved metal hook with a smooth ball at one end, inserted into the anus and tied to rope, a harness or the hair, so every movement pulls on it.

Anal Orgasm

An Anal Orgasm is an orgasm reached through anal stimulation alone, with fingers, toys, a tongue or penetration, possible for any body thanks to the many nerve endings around the anus.

Anal Play

Anal play is any sexual stimulation of the anus, with fingers, toys, a tongue or penetration, enjoyed for the many nerve endings concentrated there.

Anal Plug

An anal plug is a toy with a tapered tip, a narrow neck and a flared base that sits in the anus for fullness, stimulation or gentle stretching.

Anal Training Kit

An anal training kit is a set of usually three butt plugs in rising sizes, used to get comfortable with anal play step by step and gently relax the muscles over time.

Anchor Partner

An anchor partner is the partner who gives you a stable base in non-monogamy, a long-term, committed bond you return to, without implying your other relationships matter less.

Androgynosexual

Androgynosexual means being attracted to androgyny: people whose look or vibe blends masculine and feminine.

Androgynous

Androgynous describes a look, style or identity that mixes masculine and feminine traits or sits somewhere between them.

Androsexual

Androsexual means being attracted to masculinity, whoever has it.

Anonymous Sex

Anonymous Sex is sex between people who don’t know each other’s names or identities, sometimes without seeing faces or even speaking.

Anorgasmia

Anorgasmia is the medical term for persistent difficulty reaching orgasm, or not reaching it at all, despite enough arousal and stimulation, especially when it causes you distress.

Armbinder

An armbinder is a tapered sleeve, usually leather or latex, that holds both arms together behind the back from hands to upper arms, used in bondage for strict, elegant restraint.

Armpit Fetish

Armpit Fetish is a sexual attraction to armpits, whether to how they look, their natural scent and taste, or kissing, licking and touching them during sex.

Aroace

Aroace describes people who are both aromantic and asexual, meaning they feel little or no romantic attraction and little or no sexual attraction.

Aromantic

Aromantic, or aro, describes people who feel little or no romantic attraction.

Arousal Gel

Arousal gel is a gel applied to the clitoris or other sensitive spots that creates a warming, cooling or tingling sensation to boost sensitivity during solo play or sex.

Arousal Non-Concordance

Arousal non-concordance is when your genital response and your felt arousal don’t match, so your body can react without you wanting sex, or you can want it while your body lags behind.

Arrest Roleplay

Arrest Roleplay is a consensual power-play scenario in which one partner plays a police officer who stops, frisks, handcuffs and interrogates the other, who plays the suspect.

Asexual

Asexual, or ace, describes people who feel little or no sexual attraction to others.

Attachment Styles

Attachment styles are the typical patterns in how people bond, seek closeness and react to distance in relationships, usually described as secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant.

Autosexual

Autosexual describes people who are mainly attracted to themselves or turned on by their own body, often more than by other people.

Babygirl

Babygirl is an affectionate pet name for an adult submissive partner who loves being spoiled, praised and guided, and also internet slang for someone who seems surprisingly soft.

Bacterial Vaginosis

Bacterial vaginosis is a common vaginal condition in which the usual protective bacteria are outnumbered by others, often causing thin greyish discharge and a fishy smell, though it’s not an STI.

Ball Busting

Ball Busting is a kink in which a consenting partner’s testicles are kicked, kneed, slapped or squeezed, usually for the mix of pain, power and humiliation it brings.

Ball Gag

A ball gag is a ball, usually rubber or silicone, held in the mouth by a strap around the head, used in BDSM to muffle speech and for its striking look.

Ball Stretcher

A ball stretcher is a ring or collar worn around the scrotum above the testicles that gently pulls them downward, for a feeling of weight, tension and heightened sensitivity.

Ballet Dancer

Ballet Dancer is a standing sex position where partners face each other and one lifts a leg high, around the other’s hip or into their arms, like a dancer mid-move.

Balloon Fetish

Balloon Fetish is sexual arousal from balloons, whether from inflating them, rubbing, hugging or sitting on them, or the tension of a balloon about to pop.

Ballroom Culture

Ballroom Culture is a Black and Latino LGBTQ+ subculture born in New York, where houses compete at balls in categories like vogue, runway and realness for trophies and status.

Bastinado

Bastinado is a form of impact play in which the soles of a partner’s bare feet are struck with a cane, paddle, strap or hand, creating sharp, stinging sensations.

Bath Together

Bathing together is soaking in a tub with a partner, a relaxed, warm and close way to unwind, talk and touch, whether or not anything sexual follows.

BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for consensual kink that combines Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism, played out between adults who agree on limits.

BDSM Contract

A BDSM Contract is a written agreement between partners in an ongoing dynamic that spells out roles, rules, limits, safe words and expectations.

Bear

Bear is gay slang for a larger, often hairy and bearded gay or bi man, and for the community that celebrates this rugged, body-positive look.

Bed Restraints

Bed restraints are straps and cuffs that attach to a bed, usually with a strap system under the mattress, so you can tie a partner’s wrists and ankles for bondage.

Begging

Begging is a form of verbal play where one partner asks, pleads or even demands to be touched, given more or allowed to come, setting pride aside for pleasure.

Beige Flag

A beige flag is a quirky, harmless habit or trait in a date or partner that’s neither a red flag nor a green flag, just a little odd.

Being the Third

Being the Third means joining an existing couple as their guest for sex or dating, a role often called the unicorn in swinger and poly circles.

Benching

Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup option, with just enough contact to keep them interested, while you date other people.

Bi Erasure

Bi Erasure is when bisexuality is ignored, denied or explained away, for example by treating bi people as confused, as secretly gay or straight, or as just going through a phase.

Bi-Comfortable

Bi-Comfortable is a swinger term for men who are fine with some same-sex touch during group play without seeing themselves as bisexual.

Bi-Curious

Bi-curious describes someone who is mostly attracted to one gender but curious about exploring another.

Bigender

Bigender describes people who experience two genders, either at the same time or moving between them, and it falls under the non-binary umbrella.

Bimbo

Bimbo describes a glamorous, flirty, hyper-feminine person who doesn’t take life too seriously, a label once used as an insult and now often proudly reclaimed.

Bimbofication

Bimbofication is the fantasy of being transformed into a ditzy, glamorous, hyper-feminine bimbo, mostly explored in erotic fiction, art and consensual roleplay.

Binding

Binding is flattening the chest with a purpose-made binder, trans tape or compression top, often used by trans men, transmasc and non-binary people to ease dysphoria and feel more like themselves.

Biromantic

Biromantic describes people who are romantically attracted to more than one gender, whatever their sexual attraction looks like.

Bisexual

Bisexual means being attracted to more than one gender. Not necessarily 50/50, not necessarily at the same time, and not necessarily in the same way.

Bit Gag

A bit gag is a bar, usually rubber or silicone, held between the teeth by a strap around the head, often used in pony play as a horse bit and in BDSM to muffle speech.

Biting

Biting is using teeth on a partner’s skin during intimacy, from soft, playful nips to firmer bites that leave marks, for a rush of mixed pain and pleasure.

Blended Orgasm

A Blended Orgasm is an orgasm triggered by stimulating the clitoris and the inside of the vagina, often the G-spot area, at the same time, which many describe as deeper and fuller.

Blindfold

A blindfold is a cover over the eyes that takes away sight, heightening every other sense and adding suspense, trust and surprise to sex or a scene.

Blindfolding

Blindfolding is covering a partner’s eyes with a blindfold, mask or scarf so that, without sight, every touch, sound and scent feels more intense.

Blowjob

A Blowjob is oral sex on a penis, where one partner uses their lips, tongue and mouth, often together with a hand, to stimulate the other partner’s penis.

Blue Balls

Blue balls is slang for a harmless, dull ache in the testicles after long sexual arousal without orgasm, caused by blood pooling in the genitals, and it fades on its own.

Body Count

Body Count is slang for the number of people someone has had sex with, mostly heard in dating talk and social media debates.

Body Harness

A body harness is a set of straps or rope worn across the chest and torso, as fetish fashion, at parties or as an anchor point for bondage.

Body Inspection

Body Inspection is a scene where a dominant examines a submissive’s body closely and slowly, an act that feels objectifying and deeply intimate at the same time.

Body Kissing

Body kissing is kissing your partner anywhere except the mouth, such as the neck, shoulders, belly, back or thighs, to build anticipation and closeness.

Body Mapping

Body mapping is slowly exploring every part of a partner’s body to discover where and how they like to be touched, including spots neither of you knew about.

Body Neutrality

Body neutrality is the idea of accepting your body as it is and valuing what it does, without needing to love how it looks or think about it all the time.

Body Paint

Body paint is skin-safe paint applied to a partner’s body, as art, as playful foreplay, or as a long, slow excuse to touch them everywhere.

Body Worship

Body Worship is giving slow, devoted and detailed attention to every part of a partner’s body with kisses, touch and words, as if honoring it.

Body Writing

Body Writing is writing words or small drawings on a partner’s skin with skin-safe markers or body paint, from sweet love notes to agreed degrading labels.

Body-Safe Materials

Body-safe materials are non-porous sex toy materials, like silicone, glass and stainless steel, that don’t trap bacteria and are easy to clean properly.

Body-to-Body Massage

Body-to-body massage is a sensual massage where the giver uses their whole oiled body, not just their hands, keeping full skin contact with the receiver throughout.

Bodyguard

Bodyguard is a standing sex position where one partner enters from behind while wrapping their arms around the other, holding them close in a protective, full-body embrace.

Bondage

Bondage is restraining someone with rope, cuffs, straps or tape, for the physical sensation of being held and the mental thrill of surrender.

Bondage Cage

A bondage cage is a lockable cage big enough for an adult, used in BDSM and pet play to confine a partner for power exchange, punishment or rest.

Bondage Mittens

Bondage mittens are padded, lockable mittens that keep the hands balled into fists, taking away the use of the fingers, popular in pet play and for gentle restraint.

Bondage Tape

Bondage tape is a smooth, reusable tape, usually PVC, that sticks only to itself and not to skin or hair, used to restrain or wrap a partner without knots.

Boot Worship

Boot Worship is a kink in which a submissive partner kisses, licks, caresses or polishes a dominant partner’s boots, often kneeling, as an act of devotion and surrender.

Booty Call

A booty call is a late-night message or call that’s really an invitation for sex, usually between people who aren’t dating but enjoy hooking up.

Boss Roleplay

Boss Roleplay is a power-exchange fantasy where one partner plays a boss and the other an employee, with workplace authority, praise and discipline as the turn-on.

Bottom

A bottom is the person receiving the action in a scene, such as being spanked or tied, which doesn’t necessarily mean they’re submissive.

Bottom Energy

Bottom Energy is slang for a vibe that reads as receptive, submissive or eager to please, judged from someone’s behaviour, style or attitude rather than their actual sex life.

Brat

A brat is a submissive who playfully resists, teases and provokes their Dom, enjoying being cheeky so they get put back in their place.

Brat Tamer

A brat tamer is a Dom who enjoys the challenge of a playfully defiant sub and takes pleasure in putting that brat back in line.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is keeping someone interested with occasional flirty messages, likes or vague plans, without any real intention of committing or even meeting up.

Breakup Sex

Breakup Sex is sex between two people who have just decided to end their relationship, or already have, often as a final goodbye charged with sadness, longing or relief.

Breast Fetish

Breast Fetish is a strong sexual attraction to breasts, from their look and shape to touching, kissing, squeezing or worshipping them, often as the main focus of arousal.

Breath Play

Breath play is restricting or controlling a partner’s breathing for arousal or a sense of surrender, one of the most dangerous practices in kink, with no fully safe way to do it.

Breathwork Together

Breathwork together is synchronised or guided breathing shared with a partner to build arousal, deepen connection or reach a relaxed, altered state.

Breeding

Breeding is a primal kink centered on the fantasy of impregnating or being impregnated, often acted out through dirty talk, with or without any real chance of pregnancy.

The Bridge

The Bridge is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back and lifts their hips into a bridge, feet planted, while the other partner kneels between their legs.

Bridge Maneuver

The bridge maneuver is a sex therapy technique in which the clitoris is stimulated during penetration, so that people who rarely come from penetration alone can orgasm during intercourse.

Bukkake

Bukkake is a group sex act in which several people ejaculate onto one person, usually the face, often staged as a performative and intense scene.

Bull

A bull is the third man in a hotwife or cuckold dynamic, invited by a couple to have sex with one partner while the other watches or knows.

Bullet Vibrator

A bullet vibrator is a small, bullet-shaped vibrator for pinpoint external stimulation, discreet enough to travel with and easy to add to any kind of sex.

Butch

Butch describes a queer person, most often a lesbian, whose gender expression is masculine in style, look or attitude, as a proud identity of its own.

Butt Worship

Butt Worship is a kink centered on admiring, touching, kissing, massaging and praising a partner’s butt, often slowly and devotedly, sometimes as part of a D/s dynamic.

Butterfly

Butterfly is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back at the edge of a bed or table with legs raised, while the other partner stands.

Camel Toe Slide

A Camel Toe Slide is non-penetrative grinding or sliding along the vulva between the outer lips, an intimate and teasing form of outercourse.

Camming

Camming is performing sexually on a live webcam stream for paying adult viewers, usually earning through tips, private shows or subscriptions.

Cane

A cane is a thin, flexible rod, traditionally rattan, used in BDSM for sharp, precise strikes that sting intensely and can leave raised lines on the skin.

Caning & Paddling

Caning & Paddling is impact play with a cane or paddle, firm and precise strikes usually aimed at the buttocks and upper thighs, from a deep thud to a sharp sting.

Car Sex

Car Sex is having sex in a parked car, usually on the back seat or a reclined front seat, loved for its spontaneity, nostalgia and the thrill of a semi-public place.

Caregiver

A Caregiver is the nurturing, protective partner in a caregiver dynamic between adults, who sets rules and structure, gives comfort and praise and takes responsibility for the Little’s wellbeing and limits.

Casting Roleplay

Casting Roleplay is a fantasy built around an audition or “casting couch” scene, where one partner holds the opportunity, the other wants it, and desire becomes part of the deal.

Casual Dating

Casual dating means going on dates and maybe having sex without the expectation of a committed relationship.

Cat o’ Nine Tails

A cat o’ nine tails is a whip with several knotted tails, traditionally nine, on a short handle, used in BDSM impact play for a sharper, more intense sting than a flogger.

Catfishing

Catfishing is using a fake online identity, often with stolen photos and an invented life story, to lure someone into a relationship, a scam or both.

Catsuit

A catsuit is a skin-tight one-piece suit covering the body from neck to ankles or toes, made of latex, PVC, leather or wet-look fabric, worn as fetish fashion or a second skin.

Celibacy

Celibacy is choosing not to have sex, for a while or for good, whether for religious, personal or emotional reasons.

Cervical Orgasm

A Cervical Orgasm is a deep orgasm some people with a vulva reach through gentle, rhythmic pressure on the cervix during penetration, which some find intense and others uncomfortable.

Cervix

The cervix is the narrow lower end of the uterus that reaches into the top of the vagina, with a small opening that lets menstrual blood out and sperm in.

Chair Position

Chair Position is a seated sex position where one partner sits on a sturdy chair and the other straddles their lap face to face, controlling depth and pace from on top.

Chapstick Lesbian

Chapstick Lesbian describes a lesbian with a sporty, low-key and casual style, think sneakers, jeans and lip balm instead of lipstick, somewhere between a lipstick lesbian and a butch.

Chaser

Chaser is slang, mostly from gay culture, for someone with a strong attraction to a specific type of person or body, for example a bear chaser who is into bears.

Chastity

Chastity is keeping someone from sex or orgasm for an agreed time, often with a locked device, while a partner called the keyholder controls access.

Chastity Belt

A chastity belt is a lockable device worn around the waist with a shield over the genitals, most often over the vulva, used in chastity play to prevent touch and sex.

Chastity Cage

A chastity cage is a device locked over the penis that prevents erection and touch, used in orgasm denial and power exchange, with the key held by a partner.

Cheating

Cheating is breaking your relationship’s agreements about sex or intimacy behind your partner’s back, whether the relationship is monogamous or open.

Cheating Roleplay

Cheating Roleplay is a consensual fantasy in which partners act out an affair together, for example as secret lovers or with one seducing the other as a stranger, without anyone actually being unfaithful.

Check-In

A check-in is a brief pause or quick question during sex or a scene to confirm that everyone is still comfortable and enjoying themselves.

Chemsex

Chemsex is using drugs such as GHB/GBL, crystal meth or mephedrone to have sex, often for hours and with several partners, and is mostly discussed in gay men’s scenes.

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is a very common bacterial STI that often causes no symptoms, can affect the genitals, rectum and throat, and is easy to cure with antibiotics.

Choking

Choking during sex means putting pressure on a partner’s throat or neck with a hand, a high-risk practice that can cause serious injury or death.

Chosen Family

Chosen Family means the close friends and companions you choose to treat as family, offering the support, belonging and care that relatives by blood or law may not provide.

Chosen Name

A Chosen Name is the name someone picks for themselves to replace their birth name, often used by trans and non-binary people because it fits their identity better.

Circle Jerk

A circle jerk is a group of people masturbating together, side by side and often in a circle, usually without touching each other.

Circuit Party

A Circuit Party is a large dance event aimed mainly at gay and bi men, with big-name DJs and themed nights, often running over several days in cities around the world.

Circumcision

Circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the penis, done for medical, religious or cultural reasons, which leaves the glans permanently uncovered.

Cisgender

Cisgender, often shortened to cis, describes people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

Cisnormativity

Cisnormativity is the assumption that everyone is cisgender, meaning their gender matches the sex assigned at birth, which treats trans and non-binary people as exceptions or leaves them out entirely.

Clamps

Clamps are small devices that pinch the skin, most often the nipples, creating steady pressure that builds into an intense sensation, with a sharp rush when they come off.

Clit Pump

A Clit Pump is a small suction cup placed over the clitoris that draws blood into the tissue, making it swell and feel more sensitive.

Clitoral Orgasm

A Clitoral Orgasm is an orgasm triggered by stimulating the clitoris, directly or indirectly, the most common and reliable way for people with a vulva to come.

Clitoris

The clitoris is the pleasure organ of the vulva, with a small visible tip and a much larger hidden part inside the body that wraps around the vaginal opening.

Clocking

Clocking means recognising that someone is trans, usually a stranger noticing it from their looks or voice, often against the trans person’s wish to simply be seen as their gender.

Cock & Ball Torture

Cock & Ball Torture, or CBT, is BDSM play focused on the penis and testicles, using impact, squeezing, binding or other intense sensations.

Cock Ring

A cock ring is a ring worn around the base of the penis, sometimes also behind the testicles, that slows blood flowing back out to keep an erection firmer and add sensation.

Cock Warming

Cock warming is staying still and connected after penetration, without moving, just being close, either as a slow, intimate ritual or as a calm act of submission.

Codependency

Codependency is a relationship pattern in which you define your worth through your partner’s needs, problems and moods, often caring for them so much that your own needs disappear.

Coercive Control

Coercive control is a pattern of abuse in which one partner gradually takes over the other’s life through isolation, monitoring, rules, threats and degradation, often without any physical violence.

Coital Alignment Technique

The Coital Alignment Technique is a missionary variation where the top partner shifts higher and uses a slow rocking motion that keeps steady contact with the clitoris.

Collar & Leash

Collar & Leash is a kink pairing where one partner wears a collar around the neck and the other holds the leash, symbolising ownership, control or a pet play dynamic.

Collared

Collared describes a submissive in a committed D/s relationship, where a collar given by the Dom symbolises the bond, much like an engagement or wedding ring.

Comet Partner

A comet partner is someone you see only rarely, often because of distance, but when you do meet, the connection picks up right away and feels intense.

Coming Out

Coming out is telling others about your sexual orientation or gender identity, often step by step, to friends, family, partners or colleagues, at your own pace.

Commitment Phobia

Commitment phobia is a strong fear of binding relationships that makes someone pull away, lose interest or end things just as a connection starts to get serious.

Compersion

Compersion is the feeling of joy or warmth you get from seeing your partner happy with someone else, often described as the opposite of jealousy.

Comphet

Comphet, short for compulsory heterosexuality, is the social pressure that makes being straight seem like the default, so people can mistake expectation for real attraction to another gender.

Condom

A condom is a thin sheath worn on a penis or a sex toy that protects against many STIs and pregnancy during vaginal, anal and oral sex.

Consensual Blackmail

Consensual Blackmail is a negotiated fantasy where one partner uses fake threats or invented leverage to “force” the other into erotic tasks, with every rule and limit agreed beforehand.

Consensual Non-Consent

Consensual Non-Consent, or CNC, is a pre-negotiated scene where partners agree in advance to act out a lack of consent, so resistance is part of the script while real limits still apply.

Consent

Consent is a clear, freely given yes to a specific sexual or kink activity, which anyone involved can take back at any time.

Consent Accident

A consent accident is an unintended crossing of someone’s boundary during sex or play, like misreading a signal, which the person responsible notices, owns and works to repair.

Consent Culture

Consent culture is a culture in which asking before touching, respecting a no and checking in are normal everyday habits, not awkward exceptions, in sex and beyond.

Contraception

Contraception is any method used to prevent pregnancy, from condoms and the pill to IUDs, implants and permanent options like a vasectomy.

Contraceptive Implant

A contraceptive implant is a matchstick-sized rod placed under the skin of the upper arm that releases a progestin and prevents pregnancy for up to three years.

Contraceptive Injection

A contraceptive injection is a progestin shot from a doctor, given about every 12 weeks, that stops ovulation and is very reliable as long as each shot is on time.

Contraceptive Patch

A contraceptive patch is a thin, sticky patch on the skin that releases estrogen and progestin to prevent pregnancy, replaced once a week for three weeks, followed by a patch-free week.

Conversion Therapy

Conversion Therapy refers to harmful practices that try to change, suppress or “cure” someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity, rejected by medical bodies worldwide and partly banned in Germany.

Cookie Jarring

Cookie jarring is dating slang for keeping someone on standby as a backup option, with just enough contact to hold their interest, while you focus on someone you like more.

Coolidge Effect

The Coolidge effect is a pattern, first studied in animals, in which sexual interest that has faded with one partner flares up again when a new partner becomes available.

Coomer

Coomer is meme slang for someone seen as hooked on porn and masturbation, mostly used as a joking insult online rather than a serious description.

Coregasm

A Coregasm is an orgasm triggered by exercise, especially moves that work the core like leg raises, climbing or pull-ups, usually without any sexual thoughts or touch involved.

Corkscrew

Corkscrew is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their side at the edge of the bed with knees bent and legs together, while the other stands and enters.

Corsetry

Corsetry is the practice of wearing tightly laced corsets to shape the waist, hold the body upright and restrict movement, often enjoyed as a fetish, a form of bondage or an aesthetic.

Cosplay Sex

Cosplay Sex is sex in costume, with partners dressing up as and playing characters from anime, games, films or comics, mixing fandom, roleplay and visual fantasy.

Countertop

Countertop is a sex position where one partner sits at the edge of a kitchen counter or sturdy table and the other stands between their legs, face to face.

Couple Privilege

Couple privilege is the set of often unspoken advantages an established couple has over other partners in polyamory or open relationships, such as veto power, priority and shared resources.

Couple Swap

Couple Swap is when two couples exchange partners for sexual play, either in the same room or separately, with everyone agreeing on the rules beforehand.

Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is guided work with a trained professional in which partners explore conflicts, communication, trust and often sex, to understand each other better and decide how to move forward.

Couples Vibrator

A couples vibrator is a wearable vibrator made for use during sex that stimulates both partners at once, often sitting inside the vagina with an arm on the clitoris.

Cowboy & Cowgirl

Cowboy & Cowgirl is polyamory slang for a monogamous person who dates someone polyamorous, hoping to win them over and make them monogamous.

Cowgirl

Cowgirl is a sex position where one partner lies on their back and the other straddles them on top, face to face, setting the pace.

Cream Pie

A cream pie is when a partner ejaculates inside the vagina or anus without a condom and the semen is left there, valued by fans as raw and intimate.

Crop

A crop is a short riding whip with a stiff shaft and a flat leather flap at the tip, used in BDSM for quick, precise strikes.

Cross-Dressing

Cross-Dressing is wearing clothing usually associated with another gender, whether for arousal, playful roleplay, comfort or simply as a form of self-expression.

Cruising

Cruising is looking for casual, often anonymous sex in parks, saunas, rest stops or other semi-public places, a practice with deep roots in gay culture.

CSD

CSD, short for Christopher Street Day, is the common German name for Pride, the parades, parties and demonstrations that celebrate LGBTQ+ people and stand up for their rights.

Cub

Cub is gay slang for a man in the bear community who is smaller, slimmer or less hairy than a typical bear, and often drawn to bears himself.

Cuckold

A cuckold is a person who is erotically aroused, often through humiliation, by their partner having sex with someone else, with everyone’s consent.

Cuckquean

A cuckquean is a woman who is aroused, sometimes through humiliation, by her partner having sex with another woman, the female counterpart of a cuckold.

Cuddle Party

A Cuddle Party is a structured, non-sexual event where adults stay clothed, practise asking for touch and enjoy cuddling, with clear rules that make saying no easy.

Cuddle Puddle

A Cuddle Puddle is a group of people lying together in a relaxed pile to cuddle, often at play parties or festivals, where touch can be purely affectionate or turn sexual.

Cuffing Season

Cuffing season is the stretch of colder months, roughly autumn to Valentine’s Day, when many singles look for a partner to get “cuffed” to for cosy company.

Cum Play

Cum play is any sexual play involving ejaculate, from finishing on a partner’s body or face to taking it in the mouth or sharing it between partners.

Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus is oral sex on a vulva, where one partner uses their lips, tongue and mouth to stimulate the other partner’s clitoris, labia and vaginal opening.

Cupiosexual

Cupiosexual describes someone who feels little or no sexual attraction but still wants a sex life or a sexual relationship, for example for closeness or pleasure.

Cushioning

Cushioning is dating slang for keeping flirty contact with backup options while you’re in a relationship, so you have someone to fall back on if it ends.

Cyberflashing

Cyberflashing is sending sexual images or videos, often dick pics, to someone who didn’t ask for them, via dating apps, social media, messages or AirDrop, and it’s a form of sexual harassment.

Cybersex

Cybersex is sexual interaction between adults online, from explicit chat messages to live video calls, where partners turn each other on through a screen.

D/s

D/s stands for Dominance and submission, a consensual power-exchange dynamic in which one partner takes control and the other willingly gives it up, in scenes or beyond.

Daddy & Mommy

Daddy & Mommy are dominant roles between consenting adults in which one partner takes a caring, guiding and protective lead, mixing tenderness with authority.

Daddy Kink

Daddy Kink is attraction to a protective, confident, in-charge “daddy” dynamic between adults, where one partner leads and looks out for the other, who enjoys being guided and praised.

Daisy Chain

A daisy chain is a group sex position where at least three people form a circle and each gives oral sex to the next person at the same time.

Dark Romance

Dark Romance is a romance genre for adults with morally grey love interests, danger, obsession and taboo themes, where desire and a love story still sit at the centre.

Darkroom

A darkroom is a dark or dimly lit room in a club, bar or sauna where guests meet for anonymous sex, found mostly in the gay scene.

Dating App Safety

Dating app safety means the habits that help you meet people from apps safely, from the first message and video call to the first date and getting home.

DDF

DDF is profile shorthand for “drug and disease free”, used on dating and hookup apps to signal negative STI tests and no drug use, a phrase many now see as stigmatising.

Dead Bedroom

Dead Bedroom is slang for a relationship in which sex has become rare or stopped completely, while at least one partner still wants it.

Deadname

A deadname is the birth name a trans person no longer uses, and deadnaming means calling them by it anyway, on purpose or by accident.

Debrief

A debrief is a conversation after play where partners talk through what happened, what felt good, what didn’t and what to remember for next time.

Deep Penetration

Deep penetration is deliberately seeking maximum depth during vaginal or anal sex, with a penis or a toy, for the intense feeling of being completely filled.

Deep Throat

Deep throat is oral sex where the giving partner takes a penis or toy as deep as possible into the throat, past the gag reflex, through trust and practice.

Deepfake Porn

Deepfake porn is sexual images or videos made with AI that show a real person without their consent, for example by putting their face onto someone else’s body, and it is abuse.

Degradation

Degradation is a consensual kink where one partner is spoken to or treated as lesser, through words, names or tasks, deliberately and within clearly agreed limits.

Delay Spray

A Delay Spray is a spray with a mild local anesthetic, such as lidocaine, that reduces the sensitivity of the penis to help delay ejaculation and make sex last longer.

Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is when a person with a penis regularly needs a very long time to ejaculate, or can’t ejaculate at all, despite enough arousal and stimulation and wanting to.

Delulu

Delulu is slang for being delusional, usually about a crush, like reading deep meaning into one like or planning the wedding after a single date.

Delusionship

Delusionship is slang for a relationship that mostly exists in your head, where you feel deeply involved with someone who doesn’t share those feelings or barely knows you.

Demigirl & Demiboy

Demigirl and demiboy describe people who feel partly, but not fully, like a woman or a man, and both are identities under the non-binary umbrella.

Demiromantic

Demiromantic describes people who only feel romantic attraction to someone after a close emotional bond has formed, often through friendship.

Demisexual

Demisexual describes someone who only feels sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with a person.

Dental Dam

A dental dam is a thin square of latex or polyurethane laid over a vulva or anus to lower the risk of STIs during oral sex.

Desire Map

A desire map is a personal overview of when, where and how your desire shows up, including what turns you on, what shuts it down and which situations help it grow.

Devil’s Threesome

A Devil’s Threesome is a threesome with one woman and two men in which both men focus entirely on her and don’t touch each other sexually, a setup often coded MFM.

Diaphragm

A diaphragm is a soft, reusable silicone cup that you place in your vagina over the cervix before sex, used with a contraceptive gel, as a hormone-free barrier against pregnancy.

Dick Pic

A Dick Pic is a photo of a penis, welcome when someone asked for it and a form of harassment called cyberflashing when they didn’t.

Digital Boundaries

Digital Boundaries are agreements about what can be sent, saved or shared digitally between partners, including nudes, sexy messages, recordings, screenshots and location sharing.

Dildo

A dildo is a sex toy shaped for penetration, without vibration, made in many shapes and sizes and in materials such as silicone, glass or steel.

Dirty Talk

Dirty Talk is using explicit or suggestive words during sex or flirting to describe what’s happening, ask for things, give commands or simply turn each other on.

Disability and Sex

Disability and sex is about sexuality, pleasure and intimacy for disabled people, who have the same right to desire and a fulfilling sex life as everyone else, adapted to their bodies.

Divers (Gender Marker)

Divers is Germany’s third official gender entry besides female and male, introduced in 2018, which people can choose in the civil register if neither binary option fits them.

Doctor Roleplay

Doctor Roleplay is a fantasy where one partner plays a doctor and the other a patient, with an examination, clinical authority and the patient’s vulnerability as the turn-on.

Dogging

Dogging is having sex in a public outdoor place, often in a car or at a known car park meet-up spot, while strangers watch or sometimes join in.

Doggy Style

Doggy style is a sex position where one partner is on hands and knees and the other kneels or stands behind them, entering from behind.

Doll

A Doll is a submissive who enjoys being posed, dressed, styled and displayed like a doll by a dominant partner, often staying still, quiet and pretty on command.

Doll Play

Doll Play is a kink where one partner becomes a passive, doll-like object that is posed, moved and used by the other, surrendering their own will entirely.

Dom

A Dom is the person who takes control in a consensual power exchange, guiding the scene, giving instructions and taking responsibility for their partner’s safety.

Dominatrix

A dominatrix is a dominant woman in BDSM, often a professional who is paid to lead consensual scenes of control, discipline and fetish play with clients.

Domme

A Domme is a dominant woman in BDSM, the person who takes control in a consensual power exchange, sometimes also called a Mistress.

Domspace

Domspace is the focused, powerful and often calm headspace a dominant partner can slip into during play, also called topspace when it describes the active partner in general.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Don’t ask, don’t tell is an open arrangement where partners may see others but agree not to share or ask for details.

Double Penetration

Double Penetration is the simultaneous penetration of two body openings, for example vagina and anus, by two partners or by one partner and a toy.

Double-Ended Dildo

A double-ended dildo is a long, flexible dildo with a shaft at each end, made for two partners to share or for one person to use two ways at once.

Down Bad

Down bad is slang for being desperately horny, thirsty or lovesick, usually said about yourself with a wink when someone has you completely hooked.

Down Low

Down Low, or DL, means keeping sex or relationships secret, often used for men who have sex with men without identifying as gay or telling anyone.

Doxy-PEP

Doxy-PEP is the antibiotic doxycycline taken within 72 hours after condomless sex to lower the risk of some bacterial STIs, mainly syphilis and chlamydia.

Drag

Drag is performing an exaggerated version of gender through costume, makeup and persona, as art, entertainment or self-expression, by drag queens, drag kings and other performers.

Dry Hump

Dry hump, or dry humping, is rubbing and grinding your bodies together for pleasure without penetration, with clothes on, partly on or off.

Dry Orgasm

A Dry Orgasm is an orgasm in a person with a penis that happens without semen coming out, whether after several orgasms, through practice, or because of medication or surgery.

Dry Spell

A dry spell is a longer stretch of time without sex, whether you’re single or partnered, and usually describes a phase you didn’t plan rather than a choice like celibacy.

Dry Texting

Dry Texting means sending short, low-effort replies like “ok”, “lol” or “haha” that give the other person nothing to work with and slowly kill a conversation.

DTF

DTF stands for “down to fuck”, slang for being open to having sex, usually casually and soon, and mostly used in dating apps and texting.

Dual Control Model

The Dual Control Model is a theory of sexual response saying arousal depends on two systems, an accelerator that reacts to sexy cues and brakes that react to reasons not to.

Dungeon

A dungeon is a room or venue equipped for BDSM play, with furniture like crosses, benches and suspension points, either in a private home or at a club.

Dungeon Monitor

A Dungeon Monitor, or DM, is the person who watches over safety and house rules at a play party or BDSM club and can step in or stop a scene.

Dyspareunia

Dyspareunia is the medical term for recurring pain in the genitals or pelvis during or after sex, which can affect people of any gender and usually has a treatable cause.

Ecchi

Ecchi is a genre of anime, manga and games with playful, suggestive content such as fan service and teasing situations, but without explicit sex, which sets it apart from hentai.

Edge of the Bed

Edge of the Bed is a sex position where one partner lies or kneels at the edge of the bed while the other stands on the floor in front of them.

Edge Play

Edge play is BDSM that deliberately approaches real physical or psychological limits, such as knife play, needles, fire or breath play, and needs serious skill and preparation.

Edging

Edging is bringing yourself or a partner close to orgasm, then stopping or slowing down, again and again, to build a stronger, longer finish.

Edible Underwear

Edible underwear is lingerie made from candy, sugar beads or fruit leather, worn as a playful surprise and meant to be nibbled or licked off by a partner during foreplay.

Egg

Egg is internet slang, used mostly in trans communities, for a person who is trans but hasn’t realised it or come out yet, often something people only recognise in hindsight.

Egg Vibrator

An egg vibrator is a small, egg-shaped vibrator worn inside the vagina or held against the body, often controlled by a remote or an app.

Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower is a threesome position in which the middle partner is on all fours, pleasured from both ends, while the other two high-five over their back to form the tower’s shape.

Ejaculating Dildo

An Ejaculating Dildo is a dildo with an inner tube and a reservoir or squeeze bulb that squirts fluid from the tip on demand, mimicking ejaculation for extra realism.

Electro Stimulation

Electro stimulation, or e-stim, is using low-level electrical current from devices made for the body to create buzzing, tingling or stinging sensations on skin and muscles.

Electro Toy

An electro toy is a device made for erotic electrostimulation that sends a mild current through the skin, felt as tingling, buzzing or stinging depending on the setting.

Emotional Affair

An emotional affair is a secret, intimate emotional bond with someone outside your relationship, usually without anything physical, that takes closeness away from your partner.

Emotional Boundaries

Emotional Boundaries are the agreed limits on how much emotional involvement is part of a sexual or kink dynamic, from strictly casual to deeply romantic.

Enby

Enby is a casual, affectionate short form of non-binary, from the pronunciation of the letters N and B, used for people whose gender is neither exclusively male nor female.

Energy Orgasm

An Energy Orgasm is an orgasm reached through breathing, focus, pelvic floor movement and imagination alone, without touching the genitals or being touched at all.

Enthusiastic Consent

Enthusiastic consent means looking for an eager, clear “yes!” from your partner, not just the absence of a no, before and during sex or kink.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction, or ED, is regularly having trouble getting or keeping an erection firm enough for the sex you want, a common condition with physical, psychological or mixed causes.

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are especially sensitive to arousing touch, from the obvious ones like the genitals to places like the neck, ears and inner thighs.

Erotic Audio

Erotic Audio is sexual content made for listening, such as narrated erotic stories, guided masturbation, audio roleplay and sound recordings, which leaves the pictures to your own imagination.

Erotic Card Game

An erotic card game is a deck of cards with intimate questions, dares or sexy tasks that partners draw in turn, turning conversation, foreplay or sex into a playful game.

Erotic Fantasy Journal

An erotic fantasy journal is a private notebook or file where you write down your sexual fantasies to explore, understand and enjoy them, without any obligation to act them out.

Erotic Hypnosis

Erotic hypnosis is using trance, suggestion and triggers for arousal, relaxation or control play, also called hypnokink, always with limits agreed while fully awake and sober.

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Ethical non-monogamy, or ENM, is the umbrella term for all relationship styles with more than one partner where everyone knows and agrees.

Ethical Porn

Ethical porn is pornography produced with fair pay, safe working conditions, clear consent and transparency for performers, usually paid for by viewers instead of watched for free on pirate sites.

Exclusivity Talk

Exclusivity Talk is the conversation where you agree whether you only have sex or a relationship with each other, or whether things are open to other people.

Exhibitionism

Exhibitionism is the erotic pleasure of being watched, performing sexually for a partner or an audience that knows about it and has agreed to it.

Expectations Talk

An expectations talk is an open conversation about what an encounter is and isn’t, from sex and kink to sleeping over or meeting again, so nobody relies on assumptions.

Eye Contact

Eye contact, as a kink, is deliberately holding a partner’s gaze during sex or play for intensity, deep connection and the vulnerability of being truly seen.

Face Fucking

Face Fucking is a rough, dominant form of oral sex in which one partner controls the pace and depth by moving their hips or guiding the other’s head.

Face Sitting

Face Sitting is sitting on or straddling a partner’s face, usually for oral sex, often with a dominant twist for the person on top.

Face Slapping

Face slapping is a consensual open-hand slap to the cheek during sex or BDSM play, valued for its sting, its shock and its intense power dynamic.

Facial

A facial is when someone ejaculates onto a partner’s face, which people enjoy as a visual turn-on, a dominance gesture or both, always with clear consent.

Faking an Orgasm

Faking an orgasm is pretending to climax during sex, with sounds, movements or words, usually to end sex, protect a partner’s feelings or escape the pressure to perform.

Fantasy Dildo

A fantasy dildo is a dildo shaped like a dragon, monster, alien, tentacle or other creature, with unusual textures, colors and shapes inspired by fantasy and science fiction.

Fear Play

Fear Play is consensual BDSM play that deliberately creates fear, through darkness, being hunted, horror roleplay or not knowing what comes next, for the adrenaline rush within agreed limits.

Feather Tickler

A feather tickler is a toy made of soft feathers on a handle, used for light, teasing touches that make the skin tingle and build anticipation.

Feederism

Feederism is a fetish around feeding or being fed, with a feeder and a feedee, ranging from sensual feeding as foreplay to stuffing and, for some, intentional weight gain.

Feet Pics

Feet Pics are photos of feet, shared with a partner as a way to flirt or sold online to adults with a foot fetish, often as a side income.

Female-Led Relationship

A female-led relationship (FLR) is a relationship in which the woman takes the lead, in daily decisions, in bed or both, because both partners agreed on it.

Femboy

Femboy describes a guy who embraces a cute, feminine look and style, often with skirts, thigh-high socks, soft makeup or pastel colors.

FemDom

FemDom is short for female domination, a BDSM dynamic in which a woman takes the dominant role and her partner, of any gender, submits to her.

Femme

Femme describes a queer person, often a lesbian or bi woman, who expresses their gender in a feminine way and embraces that femininity as part of their queer identity.

Fertility Awareness

Fertility awareness is a hormone-free way to find your fertile days by tracking body signs like waking temperature and cervical mucus, then avoiding sex or using condoms on those days.

Fetish

A fetish is a strong sexual focus on a specific object, material or body part, like feet, latex or leather, that becomes central to someone’s arousal.

Fetish Party

A Fetish Party is a party with a strict fetish dress code, such as latex, leather or uniform, where kink and play are part of the night.

FFF Threesome

An FFF threesome is sex between three women at the same time, whether they identify as lesbian, bi, pan, queer or simply curious.

FFM Threesome

An FFM threesome is a threesome with two women and one man in which all three play together, including the two women with each other.

Filming

Filming means recording video of yourselves during play, to keep, rewatch together or send privately, a memento made only with the explicit consent of everyone on camera.

Filming Consent

Filming Consent is an explicit agreement on whether intimate photos or videos may be taken, what they show, how they’re stored and whether they’re ever shared.

Financial Domination

Financial Domination, or FinDom, is a kink where a submissive gives money or gifts to a dominant as an act of control, devotion and power exchange.

Finger Vibrator

A finger vibrator is a small vibrator worn on one or two fingers, adding vibration to touch for precise stimulation of the clitoris, nipples or other sensitive spots.

Fingering

Fingering is using your fingers to stimulate a partner’s or your own vulva, clitoris, vagina or anus, from gentle strokes on the outside to rhythmic movement inside.

Fire Play

Fire Play is a form of edge play in which brief flashes of flame touch the skin, creating intense heat, adrenaline and a thrill of fear.

First Time Talk

First Time Talk is a dedicated conversation before a first encounter with someone, covering experience, desires, hard limits, sexual health and dealbreakers.

Fisting

Fisting is inserting the whole hand into a partner’s vagina or anus, a slow, advanced practice that needs patience, lots of lube and a great deal of trust.

Flatiron

Flatiron is a sex position where the receiving partner lies flat on their stomach with a pillow under the hips and legs together, while the other lies or kneels over them and enters from behind.

Flavored Condom

A flavored condom is a condom with a flavored coating, such as strawberry, banana or mint, made mainly for oral sex to protect against STIs and mask the taste of latex.

Flogger

A flogger is a multi-tailed impact toy, usually leather or suede, that feels warm and heavy with gentle swings and sharp and stinging at full force.

Flogging & Whipping

Flogging & Whipping is impact play with a flogger or whip, ranging from a slow, sensual warm-up on the back to the sharp, precise sting of a single-tail whip.

Fluid Bonding

Fluid bonding is a conscious agreement between partners to stop using condoms, dental dams or other barriers with each other, usually after STI tests and clear rules about sex with others.

FMF Threesome

An FMF threesome is a threesome with two women and one man, where the man is in the middle and both women focus mainly on him.

Food Play

Food play is bringing food into sex or foreplay, from feeding each other and eating off a partner’s body to gloriously messy play with cream, fruit or chocolate.

Foot Play

Foot Play is using feet for pleasure, whether touching, rubbing, massaging, kissing or worshipping them, and it ranges from a casual turn-on to a full fetish.

Footjob

A Footjob is stimulating a partner’s penis with the feet, usually by stroking the shaft between the soles or with the toes and arches, and it’s a classic in the foot fetish world.

Forced Bi

Forced Bi is a negotiated fantasy where a dom “makes” a sub engage in same-sex play, framed as humiliation, surrender or curiosity unlocked, with everyone involved consenting beforehand.

Forced Feminization

Forced Feminization is a consensual roleplay in which a dominant partner “makes” a man look and act feminine, with every step agreed beforehand.

Forced Orgasm

Forced orgasm is a consensual BDSM practice where one partner keeps stimulating the other through and past orgasm, often while they’re restrained, as an act of control.

Foreplay

Foreplay is everything that builds arousal before or instead of intercourse, like kissing, touching, oral sex, massage or teasing, and it counts as sex in its own right.

Foreskin

The foreskin is the movable fold of skin that covers and protects the head of the penis, slides back during an erection and is rich in sensitive nerve endings.

Foursome

A foursome is sex between four people at the same time, in any gender combination, often two couples who play together or swap partners.

Fraysexual

Fraysexual describes someone who feels sexual attraction mostly to people they don’t know well, with that attraction fading as emotional closeness grows.

Free Use

Free Use is an agreed dynamic where one partner’s body is available for sex at any time, without asking or initiating first, within limits both partners negotiated in advance.

Frenulum

The frenulum is the small, very sensitive band of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the foreskin to the head, and for many people it’s an especially pleasurable spot.

Friends with Benefits

Friends with benefits, or FWB, means two friends who have sex without being in a romantic relationship.

FRIES

FRIES is an acronym for consent that is Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific, a simple checklist for what real consent looks like.

Frog Position

Frog Position is a sex position where the partner on top squats deeply over the lying partner, feet flat on the bed, and moves up and down for deep, intense penetration.

Frotting

Frotting is sexual rubbing of two penises against each other for pleasure, skin to skin and without penetration, often with lots of lube and full-body closeness.

Fuck Machine

A fuck machine is a motorised device that drives a dildo back and forth, with adjustable speed, depth and angle, for steady, tireless, hands-free penetration.

Full Swap

Full Swap is swinger slang for couples swapping partners for everything, including intercourse, as opposed to soft swap, which stops short of penetrative sex.

Full-Body Orgasm

A Full-Body Orgasm is an orgasm felt far beyond the genitals, with waves of pleasure, tingling or trembling spreading through the belly, limbs and sometimes the whole body.

Funishment

Funishment is a playful punishment in a D/s dynamic that both partners secretly or openly enjoy, such as a spanking the sub was hoping to earn.

Furry

A furry is a fan of animal characters with human traits, part of a fandom built around art, original characters, costumes and community, which for some also has a sexual side.

Futch

Futch describes a lesbian or queer person whose style and gender expression sit between femme and butch, mixing feminine and masculine elements in a way that feels true to them.

Future Faking

Future Faking is making big promises about a shared future, like moving in, trips or marriage, to win someone over or keep them close, with no real plan to follow through.

G-Spot

The G-spot is a sensitive area on the front wall inside the vagina, a few finger joints in, that many people enjoy having stimulated once they are aroused.

G-Spot Orgasm

A G-Spot Orgasm is an orgasm triggered by firm pressure on the G-spot, a sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina, which many people describe as deep and intense.

G-Spot Vibrator

A G-spot vibrator is a curved vibrator designed to reach and press on the front wall inside the vagina, the area many people call the G-spot.

Gagging

Gagging is covering or filling a partner’s mouth to stop them speaking, using a ball gag, a cloth or a hand, often to heighten helplessness during bondage.

Gangbang

A gangbang is group sex where one person is the center of attention and has sex with several partners, either at the same time or one after another.

Garden-Party Polyamory

Garden-party polyamory means metamours are friendly when they meet at gatherings, but don’t need to be close.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in which someone makes you doubt your own memory, feelings or perception of reality, until you trust them more than yourself.

Gay

Gay means being attracted to people of the same gender. It’s used most often by men who like men, but plenty of women and nonbinary people use it too.

Gay Sauna

A gay sauna is a sauna for gay, bi and other men who have sex with men, where meeting for sex is part of the scene, also called a bathhouse.

Gaydar

Gaydar is the supposed intuitive ability to tell whether someone is gay, lesbian, bi or otherwise queer, based on cues like body language, style, voice or eye contact.

Gender Binary

The Gender Binary is the idea that there are only two separate, opposite genders, male and female, and that everyone fits into one of them based on their body at birth.

Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is the distress some people feel when their body, or the way others see and treat them, doesn’t match their gender identity.

Gender Euphoria

Gender euphoria is the joy, relief or comfort you feel when your gender is recognised and lived, for example through your name, pronouns, clothes or body.

Gender Expression

Gender expression is how you show your gender outwardly, through clothes, hair, makeup, voice, body language and behaviour, whatever your gender identity is.

Gender Identity

Gender identity is your inner sense of your own gender, whether that is man, woman, both, neither or something else, regardless of the sex you were assigned at birth.

Gender Nonconforming

Gender nonconforming, or GNC, describes people whose appearance, style or behaviour doesn’t follow the norms their culture expects for their gender, whatever that gender is.

Gender Play

Gender Play is consensual play with gender roles during sex or a scene, from swapping your usual roles and cross-dressing to strap-on play or using different names and pronouns.

Gender-Affirming Care

Gender-affirming care is the medical, psychological and social support that helps trans and non-binary people live in line with their gender, from counselling and hormones to surgery.

Genderfluid

Genderfluid describes people whose gender identity shifts over time, for example between man, woman, non-binary or something else, over days, months or years.

Genderqueer

Genderqueer describes people whose gender sits outside, between or beyond the usual categories of man and woman, often with a political, norm-questioning edge.

Genital Piercing

A Genital Piercing is body jewelry worn through part of the genitals, such as a Prince Albert or frenum piercing on a penis or a vertical clitoral hood piercing on a vulva.

GGG

GGG stands for “Good, Giving and Game”, a phrase for a partner who is skilled and attentive in bed, generous with pleasure and open to trying new things.

Ghosting

Ghosting is ending contact with someone suddenly by disappearing without a word, with no explanation, no goodbye, just silence on every channel.

Giantess Fantasy

Giantess Fantasy is an erotic fantasy about a giant woman and a tiny partner, playing with extreme size difference, power and vulnerability, mostly explored through art, stories and roleplay.

Gimp Suit

A gimp suit is a full-body suit of latex, rubber or leather with an attached hood that covers the wearer from head to toe, used for objectification, sensory restriction and rubber fetish play.

Giving Orders

Giving orders is directing a partner on what to do, say or feel during sex or play, a form of control through words at the heart of many Dom and sub dynamics.

Glass Dildo

A glass dildo is a dildo made of strong borosilicate glass, smooth, non-porous and body-safe, that you can warm up or cool down for temperature play and use with any lube.

Glory Hole

A Glory Hole is a hole in a wall or partition through which people have anonymous oral or penetrative sex, without seeing who is on the other side.

Gloves

Gloves in kink are latex, leather, nitrile or fabric gloves that change how touch feels, add a striking fetish look and make hand play more hygienic.

Goddess

Goddess is a title for a dominant woman who is worshipped, adored and served like a deity by her submissive, used by mutual agreement.

Gold Star

Gold star is slang for a gay man or lesbian who has never had sex with someone of another gender, a label some wear proudly and others criticise as divisive.

Golden Shower

A golden shower is urinating on a partner or being urinated on, as an act of intimacy, dominance or taboo thrill, also known as watersports or pee play.

Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea is a bacterial STI, also called the clap, that can infect the genitals, throat and rectum, often without symptoms, and is curable with antibiotics.

Gooning

Gooning is a long, trance-like masturbation session, often edging for hours while watching porn, with the goal of reaching a dazed, deeply absorbed state.

Graysexual

Graysexual describes people who feel sexual attraction rarely, weakly or only in certain situations.

Green Flags

Green flags are signs that a partner or date is respectful, trustworthy and good for you, the positive counterpart to red flags.

Greyromantic

Greyromantic describes people who feel romantic attraction rarely, only weakly or only under certain circumstances, placing them on the aromantic spectrum between aromantic and alloromantic.

Group Sex

Group Sex is sex involving three or more people at the same time, from threesomes and foursomes to orgies, gangbangs and play parties, with everyone agreeing to what happens.

Guided Masturbation

Guided masturbation is when one partner tells the other exactly how to touch themselves, including pace, pressure and where, while watching in person or on a video call.

Gyatt

Gyatt is a viral exclamation of amazement when someone sees a curvy body, especially a big butt, and is sometimes used as a word for the butt itself.

Gynosexual

Gynosexual means being attracted to femininity, whoever has it.

Hair Fetish

Hair Fetish is sexual arousal from hair, whether it’s touching, smelling, brushing or washing it, watching it move or the way a certain length, colour or style looks.

Hair Pulling

Hair pulling is gripping and tugging a partner’s hair during sex or play, from a gentle pull that tilts the head to a firmer, rougher hold.

Hall Pass

A hall pass is a one-off permission from your partner to be intimate with someone else.

Hand Fetish

Hand Fetish is a strong attraction to hands, whether it’s their shape, visible veins, rings, long fingers or simply what they can do.

Handcuffing

Handcuffing is restraining a partner’s wrists with cuffs made of metal, leather or fabric, one of the simplest and most popular ways to start with bondage.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs are metal or padded restraints that lock around the wrists, the most classic bondage prop and a common first step into restraint play.

Handjob

A Handjob is stimulating a partner’s penis with one or both hands, using grip, rhythm and usually lube, as foreplay, a main act or a way to finish.

Handler

A handler is the person in pet play who cares for, trains and guides a pup or other pet, setting rules, giving rewards and watching over their wellbeing.

Hands-Free Orgasm

A Hands-Free Orgasm is an orgasm reached without anyone touching the genitals by hand, for example through penetration, prostate toys, grinding, nipple play or vibrating wearables.

Hanky Code

The hanky code is a system from the gay scene where a coloured handkerchief worn in the left or right back pocket signals which sexual practice someone is into and which role they take.

Hard Limit

A hard limit is something a person will never do or have done to them, an absolute boundary that is not up for negotiation or persuasion.

Harness

A Harness is a set of straps worn on the body, as fetish fashion, for bondage or to hold a strap-on dildo securely in place.

Hate Sex

Hate Sex is intense, charged sex between people who feel friction, rivalry or frustration with each other, turning that tension into rough, passionate desire instead of a fight.

Haunting

Haunting is when someone who ghosted you never gets back in touch but keeps showing up on your social media, watching your stories or liking your posts like a ghost.

Hawk Tuah

Hawk Tuah is viral slang for spitting during oral sex, named after the sound of it, from a 2024 street interview clip that became a huge internet meme.

Heels & Boots

Heels & Boots are footwear treated as a fetish object or a statement of dominance, admired, worshipped, worn during sex or used on a partner’s body.

Hentai

Hentai is sexually explicit anime and manga in Japanese style, featuring adult characters in anything from romantic scenes to wild fantasy scenarios that would be impossible in real life.

Hepatitis B

Hepatitis B is a liver infection caused by the hepatitis B virus, spread through blood, semen and vaginal fluids, often without symptoms and preventable with a safe vaccine.

Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C is a liver infection caused by the hepatitis C virus, spread mainly through blood, often silent for years and curable for most people with modern antiviral treatment.

Herpes

Herpes is a very common viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus that leads to cold sores or genital blisters and can be managed well but not cured.

Heteroflexible

Heteroflexible means mostly straight, with some room for same-gender attraction now and then.

Heteronormativity

Heteronormativity is the assumption that heterosexuality is the normal, default way to be, built into culture, laws and everyday expectations about relationships, sex and gender.

Heteroromantic

Heteroromantic describes people who feel romantic attraction to a gender other than their own, usually men to women or women to men, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Heterosexual

Heterosexual, or straight, means being attracted to people of a different gender, most often men to women and women to men.

Hickeys

Hickeys are reddish or purple marks left on the skin by sucking or nibbling, a visible and often playful sign of passion that fades within one to two weeks.

Hierarchical Polyamory

Hierarchical polyamory means having several partners, with one main partner whose needs and plans come first.

High Protocol

High Protocol is a set of strict, formal rules in a D/s dynamic that governs how the submissive speaks, stands, moves and behaves, often reserved for special occasions.

Himbo

Himbo describes a hot, sweet, not-too-bright guy, the lovable male version of a bimbo, who is all heart and muscle and never mean.

Hinge

Hinge is the polyamory term for the person in the middle of a vee relationship, who dates two partners who are not romantically involved with each other.

HIV

HIV is the human immunodeficiency virus, a virus that weakens the immune system, is very treatable today and can be prevented with condoms, PrEP and PEP.

Hoe Phase

A hoe phase is a stretch of time when someone dates, flirts and hooks up freely without looking for commitment, often after a breakup or the end of a long relationship.

Hogtie

A Hogtie is a bondage position where the wrists and ankles are tied together behind the back, usually with the bound partner lying face down and almost unable to move.

Home STI Test

A home STI test is a kit for testing yourself for sexually transmitted infections at home, by taking a swab, urine or blood sample and sending it to a lab, or as a rapid self-test.

Homoflexible

Homoflexible means mostly gay or lesbian, with some room for attraction to another gender now and then.

Homophobia & Transphobia

Homophobia and transphobia are hostility, prejudice and discrimination against gay, lesbian, bi and queer people or against trans people, from slurs and jokes to exclusion and violence.

Homoromantic

Homoromantic describes people who feel romantic attraction to people of the same gender as their own, regardless of whether their sexual attraction points the same way.

Honeymoon Cystitis

Honeymoon cystitis is a bladder infection triggered by sex, when bacteria are pushed toward the urethra, causing burning when you pee, a frequent urge and lower belly pain.

Honeymoon Phase

The honeymoon phase is the intense early stage of a relationship, full of butterflies, constant desire and rose-tinted views of your partner, which usually softens after months or a few years.

Honorifics

Honorifics are titles like Sir, Ma’am, Mistress or Master that a sub uses for a dominant partner to show respect and the agreed power dynamic.

Hookup

A hookup is a casual sexual encounter between people who aren’t in a committed relationship, ranging from making out to sex, often with someone new.

Hoovering

Hoovering is when an ex or manipulative partner tries to suck you back into a relationship you left or pulled away from, often with charm, guilt or sudden crises.

Horny Jail

Horny jail is a joking internet meme where someone who posts or says something too thirsty is told to “go to horny jail”, a playful way of calling them out.

Hot Husband

Hot Husband describes a man in a committed relationship who has sex with other people while his partner knowingly watches, arranges it or simply enjoys that it happens.

Hot Wife

A hot wife is a partner, traditionally a wife, who has sex with others while their partner watches, arranges it or simply enjoys knowing about it.

Hotel Sex

Hotel Sex is sex in a hotel room, enjoyed for the thrill of a new place, crisp sheets, anonymity and the freedom from everyday chores, kids and routines at home.

HPV

HPV is the human papillomavirus, a very common sexually transmitted virus that usually clears on its own but can cause genital warts and some cancers, and is preventable by vaccine.

HPV Vaccine

The HPV vaccine is a jab that protects against human papillomavirus, a very common sexually transmitted virus that can cause genital warts and several types of cancer.

HRT

HRT, short for hormone replacement therapy, is the use of estrogen or testosterone under medical supervision to bring a trans person’s body more in line with their gender.

Human Furniture

Human Furniture is a kink where a submissive’s body is used as a literal object, such as a footrest, table or seat, turning objectification into something physical.

Humiliation

Humiliation is a kink where acts or words are used to make someone feel exposed, embarrassed or degraded, always wanted by them and agreed in advance.

Hunter

A hunter is the partner who chases, catches and overpowers in primal play, a consensual kind of play built around raw, instinctive predator and prey energy.

Hymen

The hymen is a thin, flexible rim of tissue around the vaginal opening that looks different in everyone, usually doesn’t close the opening, and cannot show whether someone has had sex.

Hypersexuality

Hypersexuality describes sexual urges, fantasies or behaviour that feel out of control, take up a lot of time and continue despite causing real distress or harm in someone’s life.

Ice Play

Ice Play is running ice cubes or chilled objects over warm skin, using the sudden cold and the temperature contrast to make every touch feel sharper.

The Ick

The Ick is a sudden, often irrational turn-off where a small detail makes someone you liked feel unattractive, sometimes for good.

Image-Based Abuse

Image-based abuse is sharing, or threatening to share, someone’s intimate images or videos without their consent, including hidden filming and sexual deepfakes.

Impact Play

Impact Play is the umbrella term for BDSM play that involves striking the body, such as spanking, paddling, flogging and caning, for sensation, rhythm or power exchange.

In the Closet

In the closet describes someone who isn’t open about their sexual orientation or gender identity, either with everyone or with certain people like family or colleagues.

Inflatable Plug

An inflatable plug is an anal plug with a hand pump that lets you increase its size after insertion, for a slowly growing feeling of fullness and gradual stretching.

Initiating Sex

Initiating sex means making the first move toward sex with a partner, with words, touch or signals, and in long relationships it’s often uneven and worth talking about openly.

Intercrural Sex

Intercrural Sex is thrusting a penis between a partner’s closed thighs, without penetration, often with lube, as a close and low-risk alternative to intercourse.

Internal Condom

An internal condom is a soft, latex-free pouch with flexible rings that is worn inside the vagina or anus, protecting against pregnancy and STIs during penetrative sex.

Internalized Homophobia

Internalized homophobia is when queer people absorb society’s negative messages about homosexuality and turn them against themselves, as shame, self-doubt or rejection of their own desires.

Interrogation Roleplay

Interrogation Roleplay is a negotiated fantasy where one partner questions the other under pressure, and the captive resists, confesses or finally breaks, all within agreed limits.

Intersex

Intersex describes people born with sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones or anatomy, that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female.

Intimacy Coordinator

An intimacy coordinator is a professional who plans and safeguards sex and nudity scenes on film, TV and stage sets, so actors agree in advance on what happens and feel safe.

IRL

IRL stands for “in real life” and means meeting or doing something offline, face to face, instead of online, on an app or in a chat.

IUD

An IUD is a small, usually T-shaped device that a doctor places in the uterus, releasing either a hormone or copper, to prevent pregnancy reliably for several years.

Jealousy

Jealousy is the painful mix of fear, anger and insecurity you feel when you sense that someone you love might give attention, desire or love to another person instead of you.

Jewel Plug

A jewel plug is a small anal plug, usually made of steel or silicone, with a decorative gem on its flared base that stays visible between the cheeks while worn.

Jock

Jock is gay slang for an athletic, sporty man with a gym-built body, and it also names a fetish for sports gear like jockstraps, jerseys and team uniforms.

Jute Rope

Jute rope is a natural fiber rope made from the jute plant, prized in shibari for its light weight, grippy texture and low stretch, which help ties hold securely.

Kama Sutra

The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on love, desire, relationships and the art of living, best known today for its descriptions of sex positions.

Karezza

Karezza is a slow, gentle style of sex focused on affection, touch and closeness, where partners usually don’t aim for orgasm at all.

Kegel Balls

Kegel balls are small weighted balls worn inside the vagina, used to train the pelvic floor muscles or for a subtle, pleasant pull during play.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are repeated squeezes and releases of the pelvic floor muscles that support bladder control, recovery after birth, erections and orgasms, and anyone of any gender can do them.

Key Party

A Key Party is a swinger party game where guests drop their car keys into a bowl and draw a set at random to pick a partner for the night.

Keyholder

A keyholder is the person in chastity play who keeps the key to their partner’s chastity device and decides when, and whether, the wearer gets release.

Kidnapping Roleplay

Kidnapping Roleplay is a consensual non-consent fantasy where one partner is “snatched”, restrained and held captive by the other, acted out only after detailed negotiation, with limits and a safe word.

Kink

Kink is a sexual interest, practice or fantasy outside what most people call vanilla sex, from bondage and spanking to role play and fetishes.

Kink Club

A Kink Club is a club, venue or event night with a kink or fetish theme, where adults dress up, watch, socialise and play by clear house rules.

Kink vs. Abuse

Kink vs. Abuse is the difference between consensual kink, where everything is negotiated, limits hold and anyone can stop, and abuse, where consent, limits and the right to say no are ignored.

Kink-Aware Professional

A kink-aware professional is a doctor, therapist, lawyer or other expert who understands consensual kink and works with you without judging or pathologizing it.

Kink-Friendly

Kink-Friendly describes a person, partner, therapist, doctor or venue that is open to kink and treats it with respect rather than judgment or ridicule.

Kink-Shaming

Kink-Shaming is mocking, judging or belittling someone for a consensual sexual interest, whether that’s a fetish, a BDSM preference or any other kink.

Kink-Vanilla Relationship

A kink-vanilla relationship is a partnership in which one person has kinks or BDSM interests and the other mostly prefers vanilla sex, so both need to find common ground.

Kinkster

Kinkster is a casual word for someone who enjoys kink, meaning BDSM, fetishes or other sexual interests outside the mainstream, and who often feels part of the kink community.

Kinktober

Kinktober is an online challenge every October in which artists, writers and kinksters create or share one piece of kink-themed content per day, usually following a list of 31 prompts.

Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is a 7-point scale from 0 to 6, developed by Alfred Kinsey and colleagues, that rates sexual behaviour and attraction from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual.

Kitchen-Table Polyamory

Kitchen-table polyamory means everyone in the network knows each other and gets along, close enough to share a table.

Kitten

A kitten is someone who takes on a cat role in pet play, usually cuddly and affectionate but with a streak of independence and playful attitude.

Kittenfishing

Kittenfishing is presenting yourself on dating apps as noticeably better than you are, with old or heavily filtered photos or small lies about height, age or job, a milder cousin of catfishing.

Kneeling Missionary

Kneeling Missionary is a missionary variation where the receiving partner lies on their back and the other kneels upright between their legs, holding their hips or thighs.

Kneeling Oral

Kneeling Oral is the classic oral sex position where the receiving partner stands or sits on the edge of a bed and the giving partner kneels in front of them.

Labia

The labia are the outer and inner lips of the vulva, folds of skin that protect the vaginal and urethral openings, come in every shape, size and colour and are often very sensitive.

Lactation Kink

Lactation Kink is an erotic interest in breast milk and nursing between adult partners, often centered on intimacy, closeness and physical sensation.

Lap Dance

A lap dance is a slow, sensual dance one partner performs on or over the other’s lap, a private striptease built on teasing and anticipation.

Lap Position

Lap Position is a face-to-face sex position where one partner sits upright on a bed, sofa or seat and the other sits astride their lap, wrapped around them.

Latex & Leather

Latex & Leather are the classic fetish materials, worn as tight, shiny or supple second skins that many people find intensely arousing to see, touch, smell and wear.

Latex Fetish

Latex Fetish is sexual arousal from the look, feel and smell of latex or rubber clothing, often the shine and the tight, second-skin fit.

Lavender Marriage

A lavender marriage is a marriage of convenience that hides one or both partners’ queerness, or today also a platonic marriage between friends for stability or family.

Lazy Doggy

Lazy Doggy is a relaxed doggy style variation where the receiving partner rests their chest and head on the bed instead of their hands, hips raised, while the other kneels behind.

Learning What You Like

Learning what you like is following a partner’s guidance about their preferences, paying close attention and staying curious about exactly how they want to be touched.

Leashing & Collaring

Leashing & Collaring is wearing a collar, often with a leash attached, as a symbol of ownership, belonging or submission in a D/s dynamic or pet play.

Leather Fetish

Leather Fetish is sexual arousal from leather clothing and gear, its smell, feel and look, often tied to the gay leather scene and its culture.

Leg Fetish

Leg Fetish is a strong sexual attraction to legs, whether long, toned or curvy, bare or in stockings and heels, often with a focus on thighs, calves or the way legs move.

Leg Glider

Leg Glider is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back with one leg raised against the kneeling partner’s shoulder and thighs pressed close together for a tighter feel.

Legs on Shoulders

Legs on Shoulders is a missionary variation where the receiving partner lies on their back and rests their legs on the other partner’s shoulders, allowing very deep penetration.

Lesbian

Lesbian describes women who are attracted to women. Some nonbinary people with a connection to womanhood use it too.

Lesbian Bed Death

Lesbian bed death is the much-criticised claim that sex fades in long-term lesbian relationships more than in other couples, based mostly on narrow, outdated ways of counting sex.

Lewd

Lewd is slang for sexually suggestive or explicit content, used online for spicy pictures, art or comments, and “lewds” are the suggestive photos people send each other.

LGBTQIA+

LGBTQIA+ is an umbrella abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, intersex and asexual people, with the plus standing for further identities the letters don’t spell out.

Libido

Libido is your sex drive, how much and how often you want sex, shaped by hormones, stress, sleep, health and your relationship, and it naturally rises and falls over time.

Lifestyle

Lifestyle is community shorthand for living kink, BDSM or swinging as a regular part of everyday life, rather than as something you only try now and then.

Limits Talk

A limits talk is a conversation before play about your hard limits, what you’ll never do, and your soft limits, what you might try under the right conditions.

Lingam Massage

Lingam Massage is a slow, tantra-inspired massage of the penis and the whole body, focused on breathing, presence and waves of arousal rather than on orgasm.

Lingerie

Lingerie is underwear and intimate clothing chosen to look and feel sexy, worn as much for your own confidence and pleasure as for a partner.

Lipstick Lesbian

Lipstick Lesbian describes a lesbian with a classically feminine look and style, think makeup, dresses or long hair, and the label overlaps closely with femme.

Little

A Little is an adult who enjoys slipping into a playful, carefree and cared-for headspace within a caregiver dynamic, often called CGL, which can be completely non-sexual or part of adult D/s.

Live Streaming

Live streaming is performing sexually in real time for viewers watching online, with no edits or retakes and an audience that can react and comment as it happens.

Living Apart Together

Living apart together, or LAT, describes a committed couple that chooses to keep two separate homes.

Locking Toy

A locking toy is a sex toy, like a chastity cage, chastity belt or lockable plug, that only the person holding the physical key or the controlling app can unlock or operate.

Locktober

Locktober is a chastity challenge held every October, in which people wear a chastity device for the whole month, often with a partner or keyholder controlling the key.

Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship, or LDR, is a committed relationship between partners who live in different cities, countries or time zones.

Lotus Position

The Lotus Position is a seated sex position where partners sit face to face, one in the other’s lap, wrapped closely around each other.

Love Bombing

Love Bombing is overwhelming someone with affection, compliments and attention early on, so fast and intensely that it creates dependence and makes control easier.

Love Languages

Love languages are five ways people tend to show and feel love, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch, from a popular 1992 book.

Low Libido

Low libido means having little or no sexual desire, either for a while or long term, and it only becomes a problem when it bothers you or strains your relationship.

LTR & STR

LTR & STR are dating profile abbreviations for long-term relationship and short-term relationship, showing whether someone wants something lasting or something brief.

Lube

Lube, short for lubricant, is a water-, silicone- or oil-based gel or liquid that reduces friction and makes sex, masturbation and toy play glide more easily.

Lying Cowgirl

Lying Cowgirl is a sex position where the partner on top lies chest to chest on the partner below instead of sitting upright, moving with slow grinding rather than bouncing.

Magic Mountain

Magic Mountain is a doggy style variation where the receiving partner kneels and drapes their upper body over a pile of pillows while the other kneels behind and leans over them.

Maid Roleplay

Maid Roleplay is a service roleplay in which one partner dresses as a maid and serves, cleans or obeys the other, mixing costume play with power exchange and teasing rules.

Maintenance Sex

Maintenance sex is sex that partners choose to have to stay physically and emotionally connected, even without strong desire at the start, always freely and never out of obligation.

Make-Up Sex

Make-Up Sex is sex after an argument or conflict, often unusually intense because leftover adrenaline, relief and the wish to feel close again all come together at once.

Making Out

Making out is extended, deep kissing, often with hands wandering, as foreplay or as the whole point.

MaleDom

MaleDom is short for male domination, a BDSM dynamic in which a man takes the dominant role and his partner, of any gender, submits to him.

Manual Play

Manual play is using your hands and fingers to pleasure a partner, from stroking and teasing all the way to bringing them to orgasm.

Marriage Equality

Marriage Equality means that same-sex couples can marry with the same rights as opposite-sex couples, in Germany since 1 October 2017, where it’s known as “Ehe für alle”.

Masc4Masc

Masc4Masc is a profile tag, mainly on gay dating apps, meaning a masculine man who is looking for other masculine men.

Mask & Hood

Mask & Hood covers face coverings and full head coverings in leather, latex, fabric or neoprene, worn for anonymity, sensory reduction, transformation or pure fetish aesthetic.

Masochist

A masochist, in BDSM, is someone who enjoys receiving pain or intense sensation from a trusted partner, by choice and within limits they set themselves.

Massage

Massage is hands-on touch that rubs, kneads and strokes the body, and between partners it ranges from simply relaxing to slow, deeply erotic foreplay.

Massage Candle

A massage candle is a candle made from skin-friendly oils and waxes that melt at a low temperature, so the melted pool can be used as warm massage oil.

Massage Oil

Massage Oil is a skin oil that lets hands glide smoothly over the body, used for relaxing or erotic massage and often scented or warming.

Master & Slave

Master & Slave, abbreviated M/s, describes a deep and often ongoing power exchange in which one partner consensually gives the other authority over large parts of their life.

Masturbation

Masturbation is touching yourself for sexual pleasure, with your hands or a toy, alone or in front of a partner, and it’s a normal part of sexuality.

Masturbator Sleeve

A masturbator sleeve is a soft, textured tube for the penis that mimics the feel of penetration, used solo or held by a partner during foreplay or sex.

Medical Play

Medical Play is a fetish where medical exams, instruments and clinical procedures are the main turn-on, ranging from simple check-ups to advanced practices that need real knowledge and sterile gear.

Menopause and Sex

Menopause and sex covers how the drop in estrogen around menopause changes desire, arousal, the vulva and the vagina, and which practical and medical options keep sex comfortable and enjoyable.

Mental Load

Mental load is the invisible work of planning, remembering and organizing everything a household needs, from birthdays and appointments to groceries, often carried mostly by one partner.

Messy Play

Messy Play is getting covered in food, mud, slime, paint or other gooey stuff for fun, sensation and arousal, also known as WAM, short for wet and messy.

Metamour

A metamour is your partner’s other partner, someone you’re connected to through a shared partner without necessarily dating them or even being close yourself.

MFM Threesome

An MFM threesome is a threesome with one woman and two men, where the woman is the center of attention and the men don’t play with each other.

Micro-Cheating

Micro-cheating is small, secret, flirty behaviour that crosses your partner’s boundaries without being a full affair, like hidden chats or flirty DMs.

Middle

A Middle is an adult in a caregiver dynamic whose headspace sits between Little and everyday adult, more independent, cheeky and bratty than a Little but still craving care, rules and attention.

Mile High Club

The Mile High Club is slang for people who have had sex on a plane, a joke “membership” with no real club, rules or card behind it.

MILF & DILF

MILF & DILF are slang acronyms for attractive older moms and dads, made famous by a 1999 comedy film and now a huge category in porn.

Mind Control Roleplay

Mind Control Roleplay is a fantasy where one partner pretends their will and actions are completely controlled by the other, often through a trigger word, a gaze or pretend hypnosis.

Mindful Sex

Mindful sex is the practice of staying fully present in your body during sex, noticing touch, breath and sensation without judging them or chasing a goal like orgasm.

Mirror Play

Mirror play is watching yourselves in a mirror during sex or play, adding a voyeuristic layer where you are performer and audience at the same time.

Misgendering

Misgendering is referring to someone with the wrong gender, pronouns or forms of address, such as calling a woman “sir” or using “he” for someone who uses “she”.

Mismatched Libidos

Mismatched libidos means partners want sex at different frequencies or in different ways, a very common situation in long-term relationships and not a sign that something is broken.

Missionary

Missionary is the classic face-to-face sex position, with one partner lying on their back and the other on top, loved for closeness, kissing and eye contact.

Mistress

Mistress is a title of respect for a female dominant in BDSM, used by her submissive during a scene or throughout a longer power exchange relationship.

Mixed-Orientation Marriage

A mixed-orientation marriage is a marriage or long-term relationship between partners with different sexual orientations, for example a bisexual or gay person with a straight partner.

MMF Threesome

An MMF threesome is a threesome with one woman and two men in which all three play together, including the two men with each other.

MMM Threesome

An MMM threesome is sex between three men at the same time, whether they identify as gay, bi, pan, queer or simply curious.

Moaning Play

Moaning play is being loud and unfiltered during sex, moaning, gasping or screaming freely and letting a partner hear exactly how much you enjoy it.

Model Release

A Model Release is signed, explicit consent for photos or videos of someone to be used, shared or published, stating exactly where, how and for how long.

Mommy Kink

Mommy Kink is attraction to a nurturing, in-charge “mommy” dynamic between adults, where one partner cares, praises and guides and the other enjoys being looked after.

Monkey Branching

Monkey branching is lining up a new partner while still in a relationship, so you only leave once the next one is secured, like a monkey swinging from branch to branch.

Mono-Poly Relationship

A mono-poly relationship is one where one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous, by agreement.

Monogamish

Monogamish describes a mostly monogamous couple that allows agreed exceptions now and then.

Monogamy

Monogamy means having one romantic and sexual partner at a time, with both of you agreeing to stay exclusive.

Monosexual

Monosexual describes people who are attracted to only one gender, such as most straight, gay and lesbian people, as opposed to bi, pan and other plurisexual people.

Monster Romance

Monster Romance is a romance and erotica genre about love and sex with monsters, aliens and other non-humans, like orcs, werewolves, demons or tentacled creatures.

Moresome

A Moresome is sex between more than three people at the same time, from a foursome to a larger group, with everyone agreeing beforehand on what happens.

Morning Sex

Morning Sex is sex right after waking up, enjoyed for its sleepy warmth, relaxed bodies and the chance to connect before work, kids or phones take over the day.

Morning Wood

Morning wood is slang for an erection you wake up with, a leftover of the erections that happen naturally during sleep and a sign of healthy blood flow, not of arousal.

Morning-After Pill

The morning-after pill is emergency contraception you take as soon as possible after unprotected sex or a condom mishap, to help prevent a pregnancy.

Movement Restriction

Movement Restriction is limiting a partner’s ability to move without full bondage, by holding them down, pinning their wrists or pressing them in place with your body.

Mpox

Mpox is a viral infection that causes a rash or blisters and fever, spreads through close skin-to-skin contact including sex, and can be prevented with a vaccine.

MSM & WSW

MSM & WSW stand for men who have sex with men and women who have sex with women, health terms that describe behaviour rather than identity.

Multiple Orgasms

Multiple Orgasms are more than one orgasm in a row, either close together or in waves, without needing a long break to recover in between.

Mummification

Mummification is a bondage practice in which a partner’s whole body is wrapped in bandages, cling film or tape, leaving them completely still and helpless.

Munch

A munch is a casual social meetup for people into kink, usually in a bar, café or restaurant, where people only talk and get to know each other, with no play.

Muscle Worship

Muscle Worship is admiring, touching, kissing and praising a partner’s muscles, often while they flex or show off their strength, turning a strong body into the centre of desire.

Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is two or more people pleasuring themselves together, or each other by hand, with the thrill of watching and being watched.

Muzzle

A muzzle is a leather, rubber or silicone mask worn over the mouth, often shaped like a dog’s snout, used in pup play and BDSM as a look and a symbol of control.

Mx.

Mx. is a gender-neutral title, usually pronounced “mix” or “mux”, used instead of Mr., Mrs. or Ms. by non-binary people and anyone who prefers not to signal their gender.

Mycoplasma Genitalium

Mycoplasma genitalium is a sexually transmitted bacterium that can cause symptoms similar to chlamydia, often causes no symptoms at all and is treated with antibiotics.

Name Calling

Name calling is using charged, often degrading names like slut, pig or good boy as consensual verbal play during sex or a scene.

Navel Fetish

Navel Fetish is sexual arousal from the belly button, whether looking at it, touching, kissing or licking it, often together with an attraction to bellies and midriffs in general.

NDA

NDA stands for non-disclosure agreement, and in kink and dating it’s a mutual promise to keep an encounter or relationship completely private, for discretion-first play.

Neck & Ear Play

Neck & ear play is kissing, licking, nibbling and breathing softly on the neck and ears, two of the body’s most sensitive and most underrated erogenous zones.

Neopronouns

Neopronouns are newly created pronouns, such as xe/xem, ze/hir, ey/em or fae/faer, that some people, often non-binary, use for themselves instead of he, she or they.

Nesting Partner

A nesting partner is the partner you live with and share a home and daily life with, a term mostly used in polyamorous and other non-monogamous relationships.

Netflix and Chill

Netflix and Chill is a casual invitation to hang out and watch something together that really means hooking up, a phrase that became a viral meme in the mid-2010s.

Neutrois

Neutrois is a non-binary gender identity describing a neutral or null gender, neither man nor woman, sometimes combined with a wish for a body that looks less gendered.

Nipple Clamps

Nipple clamps are clips that attach to the nipples to apply steady pressure, creating a mix of pain and pleasure and an intense rush of sensation when removed.

Nipple Orgasm

A Nipple Orgasm is an orgasm reached through nipple stimulation alone, without genital touch, something people of every gender can have, though not everyone does.

Nipple Play

Nipple play is touching, licking, sucking, pinching or clamping the nipples for pleasure, from soft teasing to intense sensation, for people of any gender.

Nipple Suckers

Nipple suckers are small suction cups that pull the nipples outward, making them more sensitive and adding a steady, tugging sensation.

No Contact

No Contact means cutting off all communication with an ex or a toxic person, no calls, no texts and no checking their socials, to protect yourself, heal and move on.

No Nut November

No Nut November is an internet challenge, half joke and half dare, where participants try to go the whole month of November without an orgasm.

NoFap

NoFap is an online movement and challenge where people give up porn, masturbation or both for a set time or for good, often to change habits they feel unhappy with.

Non-Binary

Non-binary describes people whose gender is not only man or woman, but both, neither, somewhere in between or something else entirely.

Non-Hierarchical Polyamory

Non-hierarchical polyamory means having several partners without ranking them: no primary, no secondaries.

Non-Verbal Safeword

A non-verbal safeword is a tap, squeeze, sound or gesture that stops play when words aren’t possible, essential with gags, deep subspace or other intense scenes.

NRE

NRE stands for New Relationship Energy, the giddy, exciting rush of a fresh romantic or sexual connection, with butterflies, constant texting and intense desire.

NSA

NSA stands for “no strings attached”, meaning sex or a casual arrangement without commitment, romantic expectations or a relationship.

NSFW

NSFW stands for “not safe for work”, a warning label for sexual or graphic content you wouldn’t want on your screen in public or at the office.

NTR

NTR is short for netorare, a Japanese manga and anime genre in which a character’s partner is “stolen” by someone else, with jealousy and heartbreak as the focus.

Nudes

Nudes are naked or sexy photos that adults send each other, usually by phone, and they should only be sent when asked for and never shared without consent.

Nudism

Nudism is being naked together casually, at home, on the beach or in naturist spaces, where the focus is comfort and body acceptance rather than sex or performance.

Nuru Massage

Nuru Massage is a Japanese-style erotic massage in which one partner glides their whole body over the other, both covered in a slippery, odourless gel made from seaweed extract.

Nylon & Stockings Fetish

Nylon & Stockings Fetish is sexual arousal from stockings, pantyhose and tights, from how they look on legs and how smooth nylon feels on skin.

Objectification

Objectification in kink is consensually treating a partner like an object, such as furniture, a doll or a toy, playing with power, stillness and being used, all within agreed limits.

Objectumsexual

Objectumsexual, also called objectophilia, describes people who feel romantic or sexual attraction to objects, such as buildings, bridges, cars or machines.

Oil Play

Oil play is using massage or body oil to make skin warm and slippery, turning touch, massage and sex into something smoother and more sensual.

Oil-Based Lube

Oil-Based Lube is a lubricant made from plant or mineral oils, like coconut oil, that lasts long and feels rich, but breaks down latex condoms and dental dams.

Omegaverse

Omegaverse is a fiction genre in which characters are alphas, betas or omegas, with instincts like heats, scent attraction and lifelong mating bonds shaping romance and sex.

Omnisexual

Omnisexual means being attracted to all genders while still noticing gender and sometimes having a preference.

One-Night Stand

A One-Night Stand is a sexual encounter between two people for a single night, with no expectation of a relationship or a repeat.

Open Marriage

An open marriage is a marriage in which both spouses agree that sex, and sometimes dating, with other people is okay within rules they set together.

Open Relationship

An open relationship is a committed couple that agrees sex with other people is allowed, while love usually stays between the two of them.

Oral Play

Oral play is using your mouth, lips and tongue to pleasure a partner’s genitals, whether you’re giving, receiving or both at once.

Orange Peel Theory

Orange Peel Theory is a viral relationship test in which you ask your partner for a small favour, like peeling an orange, to see whether they care about little everyday acts of love.

Orbiting

Orbiting is when someone stops talking to you but keeps watching your stories, liking your posts and staying visible in your social media feeds.

ORE

ORE stands for Old Relationship Energy, the deep calm, trust and comfort of a long-term bond, often seen as the grown-up counterpart to NRE.

Orgasm

An Orgasm is the peak of sexual arousal, a short, intense release of built-up tension felt as waves of pleasure and rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvis and often the whole body.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm Control is a kink where one partner decides when, how and whether the other may come, using permission, edging, denial or forced orgasms.

Orgasm Denial

Orgasm denial is deliberately withholding someone’s orgasm, often by bringing them to the edge again and again and stopping, for one session or sometimes for days.

Orgasm Gap

The orgasm gap is the difference in how often people reach orgasm during sex, seen most clearly in heterosexual sex, where women climax much less often than men.

Orgy

An orgy is group sex with many people at once, where everyone can play with everyone, within the limits each person has agreed to.

OTK

OTK stands for over the knee, the classic spanking position where one partner lies face down across the seated partner’s lap.

Otter

Otter is gay slang for a slimmer, hairy gay or bi man, the leaner cousin of the bear in the community’s animal vocabulary.

Outdoor Sex

Outdoor Sex is having sex outside in nature, in a forest, meadow, field or on a secluded beach, away from other people, for fresh air, freedom and a little thrill.

Outercourse

Outercourse is any kind of sex without penetration, such as kissing, touching, grinding, mutual masturbation or massage, where pleasure comes from everything outside the body.

Outing

Outing is revealing someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity or trans history to others without their consent, a violation of privacy that can put people at serious risk.

Overstimulation

Overstimulation is continuing sexual stimulation after orgasm, when the body is extra sensitive, until the feeling sits on the edge between intense pleasure and almost too much.

Owner

An Owner is the dominant partner in a consensual dynamic who symbolically “owns” a pet or sub and takes responsibility for their care, rules and training.

Oxytocin

Oxytocin is a hormone and brain messenger released during touch, cuddling, orgasm, childbirth and breastfeeding, often called the cuddle hormone because it supports closeness and trust.

Packing

Packing is wearing a soft prosthetic penis, called a packer, or a homemade substitute in your underwear to create a bulge, mostly done by trans men, transmasculine people and drag kings.

Paddle

A paddle is a flat, rigid impact toy used for spanking, delivering broad, firm strokes with a satisfying smack, usually made of wood, leather, silicone or acrylic.

Painslut

Painslut is BDSM slang for a masochist who openly craves intense pain, a label people proudly choose for themselves rather than one others put on them.

Pangender

Pangender describes people who identify with many or all genders, either at the same time or in changing combinations, as part of the wider non-binary spectrum.

Panromantic

Panromantic describes people who can feel romantic attraction to others regardless of their gender, whether or not they also feel sexual attraction to them.

Pansexual

Pansexual means being attracted to people regardless of their gender. The person comes first, gender barely factors in.

Paperclipping

Paperclipping is when someone you’re no longer dating pops up every now and then with a casual message, not to reconnect for real, but just to stay on your radar.

Parallel Polyamory

Parallel polyamory means your relationships run side by side: everyone knows about each other, but metamours rarely or never meet.

Passing

Passing describes being read by others as the gender you live as, so strangers see a trans woman as a woman or a trans man as a man without a second look.

Pasties

Pasties are adhesive covers worn over the nipples, either for a sexy, decorative look in burlesque, lingerie and festival outfits, or simply to stay discreet under thin clothes.

Paypig

A paypig is a submissive who gets aroused by sending money or gifts to a financial dominant, as part of a consensual findom dynamic.

Pegging

Pegging is anal sex in which one partner wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates the other, most often a woman penetrating a man, but open to anyone.

Pelvic Floor

The pelvic floor is the group of muscles spanning the base of the pelvis, supporting bladder, bowel and genitals and contracting rhythmically during orgasm in people of every gender.

Penis

The penis is the external sex organ made of a shaft and a glans, with erectile tissue that fills with blood during arousal and a urethra that carries urine and semen.

Penis Humiliation

Penis Humiliation is a humiliation kink built around playful verbal mockery of penis size or appearance, often called small penis humiliation or SPH.

Penis Pump

A penis pump is a cylinder placed over the penis that creates a vacuum, drawing blood in for temporary swelling, heightened sensitivity and a firmer erection.

Penis Size

Penis size is the length and girth of a penis, with an erect average of about 13 cm long and 11.7 cm around, and it matters far less for good sex than most people think.

Penis Sleeve

A penis sleeve is a hollow sleeve worn over the penis during sex to add length, girth or texture, or to help when erections are unreliable.

PEP

PEP is emergency HIV medicine taken after a possible exposure, started as soon as possible and no later than 72 hours, then taken for 28 days.

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety is worry about not being good enough in bed, about erections, orgasm, looks or lasting long enough, that pulls you out of the moment and blocks pleasure.

Perineum

The perineum is the sensitive stretch of skin between the genitals and the anus, rich in nerve endings and nicknamed the taint or the gooch in slang.

Period Sex

Period Sex is having sex during menstruation, usually with a towel underneath, a relaxed attitude and an easy plan for cleaning up afterwards.

Pervertables

Pervertables are everyday household items, like wooden spoons, clothespins or scarves, that get used as sex toys or BDSM gear.

Pet

A Pet is a submissive partner who takes on an animal role, such as a pup, kitten or pony, and is cared for, played with and trained by an owner.

Pet Play

Pet Play is a form of roleplay where one partner takes on an animal persona, such as a puppy, kitten or pony, while the other acts as owner or handler.

Peyronie’s Disease

Peyronie’s disease is a condition in which scar tissue forms inside the penis, causing it to curve, shorten or hurt during erections, which can make sex difficult.

Phone Sex

Phone sex is turning each other on with your voices over the phone, through dirty talk, shared fantasies and hearing each other’s reactions, often while touching yourselves.

Photographing

Photographing in kink means taking photos of a partner during or after play, as a memento or a turn-on, always with their explicit consent to each picture and to how it’s stored.

Photoshoot Roleplay

Photoshoot Roleplay is a fantasy where one partner plays the photographer and the other the model, with direction, posing and approval as the turn-on, with or without real photos.

Physical Limits

Physical Limits are the injuries, health conditions, disabilities and body boundaries you share with a partner before play, so positions, intensity and activities can be adapted to your body.

Pile Driver

The Pile Driver is an acrobatic sex position where the receiving partner rests on their upper back with their hips lifted high above their head, while the other partner squats over them.

The Pill

The pill is a daily hormone tablet that prevents pregnancy, either as a combined pill with estrogen and progestin or as a progestin-only mini pill, and is very reliable when taken on time.

Pillow Prince

Pillow Prince is slang for a man who prefers receiving pleasure in bed and rarely reciprocates, lying back while his partner does the work, the male counterpart to the Pillow Princess.

Pillow Princess

Pillow Princess is slang for someone who prefers receiving pleasure in bed and rarely or never reciprocates, often lying back while their partner does the work.

Pinching

Pinching is squeezing a partner’s skin between your fingers or nails to create a sharp, localised sting, used as teasing, playful punishment or sensation play.

Pink Flag

A pink flag is a minor warning sign in dating or a relationship, a habit or trait worth noticing and talking about, but not serious enough to count as a red flag.

Pink Triangle

The Pink Triangle was the badge that men persecuted as homosexual had to wear in Nazi concentration camps, later reclaimed by queer activists as a symbol of remembrance, resistance and pride.

Pinkwashing

Pinkwashing is when companies, brands or states present themselves as LGBTQ+ friendly to polish their image, sell products or distract from criticism, without backing it up with real support.

Platonic Co-Parenting

Platonic co-parenting is when two or more adults deliberately decide to have and raise a child together without being in a romantic or sexual relationship with each other.

Play Partner

A play partner is someone you do kink, BDSM or sex with by mutual agreement, without being in a romantic relationship with them.

Play Party

A Play Party is a private gathering with a kink, BDSM or fetish theme, where guests can play, watch or just socialize under agreed house rules.

Play Party Etiquette

Play Party Etiquette is the set of mostly unwritten rules at sex and fetish parties, from asking before touching and not interrupting scenes to keeping phones away and staying discreet.

Playroom

A Playroom is a room in a club or at a party set aside for sex and play, usually with beds or mats and its own house rules.

Pleasure-Focused Sex

Pleasure-focused sex is an approach to sex where the goal is enjoyment, connection and good sensations along the way, rather than reaching orgasm or following a set script.

Plurisexual

Plurisexual is an umbrella term for people who are attracted to more than one gender, covering bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, fluid and many queer people.

Polyamory

Polyamory means having several loving relationships at the same time, with everyone involved knowing and agreeing.

Polycule

A polycule is the whole network of people connected through polyamorous relationships: your partners, their partners and beyond.

Polyfamily

A polyfamily is a family in which more than two adults connected through polyamorous relationships live together, share daily life or raise children together.

Polyfidelity

Polyfidelity means a closed group of more than two partners who are faithful to each other and don’t date outside the group.

Polygamy

Polygamy is being married to more than one spouse at the same time, most often one man with several wives, and differs from polyamory in its legal, religious and gender structure.

Polysaturated

Polysaturated describes someone in polyamory who has as many partners as they can handle right now, so they aren’t looking for new relationships.

Polysexual

Polysexual means being attracted to several genders, but not all of them.

Pomosexual

Pomosexual describes someone who rejects fixed labels for their own sexuality and sees attraction as too fluid or personal to fit categories like gay, straight or bi.

Pony

A Pony is someone who takes the role of a horse in pony play, trained, groomed and shown by a handler, often wearing harness and tack.

Pony Play

Pony play is a form of pet play in which one partner takes on the role of a pony, with tack like a bridle and harness, plus training and commands.

Post-Sex Blues

Post-sex blues are feelings of sadness, tearfulness, anxiety or irritability right after sex, even consensual and enjoyable sex, known in research as postcoital dysphoria.

Postpartum Sex

Postpartum sex is sex after giving birth, which many people resume around 6 weeks or later, once bleeding has stopped, wounds have healed and they genuinely feel ready.

Posture Collar

A posture collar is a tall, stiff collar, usually leather, that rests between the collarbones and the jaw and keeps the wearer’s chin raised and head upright.

Power Bottom

A power bottom is a bottom who takes charge, setting the pace, intensity and direction of the scene or sex while still being on the receiving end.

Poz & Neg

Poz & Neg is dating and hookup app shorthand for HIV-positive and HIV-negative, used on profiles and in chats to share your HIV status.

Praise & Affirmation

Praise & Affirmation is a kink centered on giving or hearing warm verbal approval during intimacy, like “good girl”, “good boy” or “you’re doing so well”.

Precum

Precum is the clear, slippery fluid that comes out of the penis during arousal before ejaculation, and it can contain sperm and transmit sexually transmitted infections.

Predicament Bondage

Predicament Bondage is a form of bondage that puts the bound person in a deliberate dilemma, where every way of easing one discomfort creates another, so they must keep choosing.

Pregnancy Kink

Pregnancy Kink is sexual arousal connected to pregnancy, whether it’s attraction to pregnant bodies, the fantasy of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, or roleplay around it.

Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation means ejaculating sooner than you or your partner would like, often within a minute or two of penetration, in a way that regularly causes frustration or distress.

PrEP

PrEP is a prescription medicine that HIV-negative people take to prevent HIV, very effective when taken as prescribed but with no protection against other STIs.

Pretzel

The Pretzel is a sex position where one partner lies on their side while the other kneels and straddles their lower leg, so the legs end up intertwined.

Prey

Prey is the partner who gets chased, caught and overpowered in primal play, often enjoying the struggle, the escape attempts and the thrill of being captured.

PRICK

PRICK stands for Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink, a BDSM principle stressing that each person owns their choices and must understand the risks before agreeing to play.

Pride

Pride is the LGBTQIA+ movement for visibility, equal rights and self-acceptance, and the parades, festivals and events that celebrate it every year, especially in June.

Pride Flags

Pride flags are the flags of the queer community, led by the rainbow flag, with their own designs for identities such as trans, bi, pan, lesbian, asexual and non-binary people.

Primal

A Primal is someone who plays on instinct, letting go of words and rules to growl, chase, wrestle, bite and scratch, either as predator or as prey.

Primal Play

Primal Play is raw, instinct-driven play where partners chase, wrestle, growl, bite and fight for dominance, letting animal urges lead instead of scripts.

Primary Partner

A primary partner is, in hierarchical polyamory, the partner who comes first in time, big decisions and commitments, while other partners are called secondary.

Princess

Princess is a kink role for a sub who expects to be pampered, adored and served by their partner, often with a playful bratty streak.

Prone Bone

Prone Bone is a sex position where the receiving partner lies flat on their stomach and the other partner lies on top of them from behind.

Pronouns

Pronouns are the words people use for you instead of your name, like she, he or they, and they usually reflect your gender identity.

Prostate

The prostate is a small gland below the bladder that helps make semen, and because it is rich in nerves, many people enjoy stimulating it through the perineum or the anus.

Prostate Massager

A prostate massager is a curved anal toy designed to reach and stimulate the prostate, a sensitive gland sometimes called the male G-spot or P-spot.

Prostate Orgasm

A Prostate Orgasm is an orgasm triggered by stimulating the prostate, inside through the rectum or outside through the perineum, often described as longer and deeper, sometimes without ejaculation.

Prostate Play

Prostate play is stimulating the prostate gland for pleasure, internally through the anus, externally through the perineum, or both at once.

Protocol & Rules

Protocol & Rules is a defined set of behaviours, rituals and expectations within a power exchange dynamic, such as how a submissive speaks, sits or greets their dominant.

Pubic Hair & Manscaping

Pubic hair and manscaping covers how you groom the hair around your genitals, from leaving it natural to trimming, shaving, waxing or laser, a matter of taste, not hygiene.

Pubic Lice

Pubic lice are tiny insects that live in pubic and other coarse body hair, cause itching and spread through close body contact, usually during sex.

Public Play

Public Play is sexual activity or stimulation in a public or semi-public space, usually done so discreetly that nobody around you notices anything.

Public Submission Cues

Public Submission Cues are subtle signals that keep a D/s dynamic alive in public, like a discreet collar, a code word or a gesture, invisible to outsiders.

Pull-Out Method

The pull-out method is a form of contraception in which the penis is withdrawn from the vagina before ejaculation, simple and free, but much less reliable than most other methods.

Pup

A pup is someone who takes on a playful dog role in pet play, with fetching, romping and craving praise from a handler or owner.

Pup Hood

A pup hood is a mask shaped like a dog’s face, usually made of neoprene, rubber or leather, worn in puppy play to step into a playful pup headspace.

Purity Culture

Purity culture is a strict, often religious set of teachings that frames sex before marriage as sinful and sexual purity as a measure of a person’s worth, which can leave lasting shame.

Quad

A quad is a polyamorous relationship of four people, often two couples who have come together.

Queef

A queef is air escaping from the vagina with an audible sound, usually during or after penetration, completely harmless and unrelated to digestion or bad smells.

Queening Chair

A queening chair is a piece of sex furniture with an open or cut-out seat, so one partner can sit comfortably over the other’s face for oral sex, face sitting or worship.

Queer

Queer is an umbrella word for anyone who isn’t straight or isn’t cisgender.

Queer Coding

Queer coding is giving a character in film, TV, books or games traits that audiences read as queer, through stereotypes and hints, without the story ever saying they are queer.

Queerbaiting

Queerbaiting is hinting at a queer romance or identity to attract queer fans and attention, without ever actually delivering it on screen or in the story.

Queerplatonic Relationship

A queerplatonic relationship is a committed partnership that goes beyond friendship but isn’t romantic in the usual way.

Questioning

Questioning describes anyone exploring their orientation who hasn’t landed on a label yet, or isn’t sure they want one.

Quickie

A quickie is fast, spontaneous sex, usually short on foreplay and long on urgency, squeezed into a few stolen minutes because you both want each other now.

Quoiromantic

Quoiromantic describes someone who can’t tell, or doesn’t relate to, the line between romantic and platonic feelings, so the usual idea of a crush may not fit.

Rabbit Vibrator

A rabbit vibrator is a vibrator with an inner shaft for the vagina and an outer arm for the clitoris, so it stimulates both at the same time.

RACK

RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, a BDSM principle that accepts no play is completely safe and asks everyone to understand and agree to the risks involved.

Rawdogging

Rawdogging is slang for sex without a condom, and in its newer viral sense, doing something long and boring, like a flight, with zero distractions.

Rebound

A rebound is a relationship or hookup that starts soon after a breakup, often as a way to feel wanted again or to get over an ex.

Red Flags

Red Flags are warning signs that a partner, a scene or a club isn’t safe, such as skipping negotiation, ignoring safewords or pushing you past your limits.

Refractory Period

The refractory period is the recovery time after orgasm, when the body needs a break before arousal or another orgasm becomes possible again.

Relationship Agreement

A relationship agreement is the set of rules, boundaries and promises partners consciously agree on, especially in open and polyamorous relationships, from safer sex to dating others and time together.

Relationship Anarchy

Relationship anarchy means shaping every relationship freely, without fixed rules, rankings or a set line between friendship and romance.

Relationship Escalator

The Relationship Escalator is the default script many people expect a relationship to follow, from dating to exclusivity, moving in, marriage and kids, always moving up.

Remote Vibrator

A remote vibrator is a vibrator controlled by remote or app, so a partner can change the vibration from across the room or, over the internet, from anywhere.

Resistance Play

Resistance Play is a pre-negotiated scene where one partner pushes back, struggles or says no and gets overpowered, with the resistance scripted and real limits and a safe word in place.

Responsive Desire

Responsive desire is sexual desire that shows up after touch, closeness or intimacy has already started, rather than appearing out of the blue beforehand.

Reverse 69

Reverse 69 is a side-lying version of 69 where both partners lie on their sides, head to toe, and give each other oral sex at the same time, without anyone on top.

Reverse Cowgirl

Reverse cowgirl is a sex position where the partner on top straddles the other while facing away from them, toward their partner’s feet.

Reverse Gangbang

A reverse gangbang is group sex where one man is the center of attention for several women, the flipped version of a classic gangbang.

Revoking Consent

Revoking consent means taking back a yes at any moment, by words, a safe word or body language, which ends the activity right away.

Reward & Punishment

Reward & Punishment is a D/s practice where a dominant partner responds to a submissive’s behaviour with agreed rewards for obedience and agreed punishments for broken rules.

Ride-On Vibrator

A ride-on vibrator is a vibrator built to be straddled or sat on, often saddle-shaped with an optional attachment, giving powerful, deep and completely hands-free stimulation.

Rigger

A rigger is the person who ties in rope bondage, designing and tying the patterns and taking responsibility for their partner’s safety while they’re bound.

Rimming

Rimming is oral stimulation of the anus with the tongue or lips, also called anilingus, enjoyed by people of every gender and orientation.

Ring Gag

A ring gag is a gag with a metal or padded ring that sits behind the teeth and holds the mouth open, fastened with a strap behind the head.

Rizz

Rizz is slang for charm, the knack for flirting and attracting someone, whether through smooth lines, confidence or just the right look.

Rocking Horse

Rocking Horse is a seated sex position where one partner sits cross-legged and leans back on their hands, while the other sits on their lap facing them and rocks back and forth.

Roleplay Costumes

Roleplay costumes are outfits worn to step into a character or fantasy during sex or play, such as a nurse, cop, maid, pirate or superhero.

Roleplay Scenarios

Roleplay Scenarios are fantasies acted out with partners taking on defined characters, a setting or a situation, from strangers meeting in a bar to boss and employee.

Romance Scam

A romance scam is a con where a fake online love interest builds trust over weeks or months to get your money.

Romantic Orientation

Romantic orientation describes who you fall in love with, as opposed to who you want to have sex with.

Rope

Rope in kink is used for bondage, tying and restraining a partner, from a few simple knots around the wrists to intricate decorative patterns like shibari.

Rope Bunny

A rope bunny is someone who enjoys being tied up in rope bondage, for the sensation, the helplessness, the aesthetics or the deep calm it can bring.

Rose Toy

A Rose Toy is a small clitoral suction toy shaped like a rose bloom that works with air pulses or suction around the clitoris and became a viral TikTok hit around 2021.

Roster

Roster is slang for the group of people someone is dating, flirting or talking with at the same time, also called a rotation.

Rough Sex

Rough sex is intense, forceful sex with things like hair pulling, spanking or pinning down, where both partners agreed on the intensity and limits beforehand.

Ruined Orgasm

A ruined orgasm is when all stimulation stops right at the point of no return, so the orgasm happens but feels flat and unfinished, usually as part of orgasm control play.

Rule 34

Rule 34 is an internet saying that if something exists, someone has made porn of it, usually meaning adult fan art of characters from games, cartoons and films.

Sadist

A sadist, in BDSM, is someone who enjoys giving pain or intense sensation to a consenting partner, within agreed limits and with that partner’s pleasure in mind.

Sadomasochist

A sadomasochist is someone who enjoys both giving and receiving consensual pain, combining the sadist and masochist sides depending on partner, mood or scene.

Safe Call

A safe call is a safety plan where a trusted friend knows where you are and who you’re meeting, and expects you to check in at agreed times.

Safer Sex

Safer sex means lowering the risk of STIs with condoms, dental dams, gloves or other barriers plus regular testing, ideally agreed in advance rather than in the moment.

Safety Shears

Safety shears are blunt-tipped scissors with an angled blade that cut rope, tape or straps fast in an emergency without stabbing or cutting the skin.

Safeword

A safeword is a word agreed on before play that immediately stops everything, no questions asked, and it’s the most important agreement you can make before any scene.

Same-Room Sex

Same-Room Sex is when two or more couples each have sex with their own partner in the same room, side by side, without swapping partners.

Sandwich

The Sandwich is a threesome position in which one partner lies or stands between the other two, face to face with one and with the other pressed against their back.

Sapiosexual

Sapiosexual describes people who find intelligence the most attractive trait of all.

Sapphic

Sapphic is an umbrella word for women and non-binary people who are attracted to women, whether they are lesbian, bi, pan or queer.

Scene

A scene is a planned session of kink or BDSM play with agreed roles, activities and limits, and “the scene” also means the kink community as a whole.

Scene Name

A Scene Name is the nickname someone uses in the kink community, at events, in clubs and online, to keep their real identity private.

Scene Negotiation

Scene Negotiation is agreeing in advance on what will happen in a kink scene, who does what, which limits apply, how long it lasts and how to stop.

Scent Kink

Scent Kink is arousal from a partner’s natural smell, such as their skin, sweat or worn clothes, often more than from perfume or other added scents.

Scheduled Sex

Scheduled sex means planning time for sex on purpose and putting it in the calendar instead of waiting for spontaneous desire, a common tool for busy couples and long relationships.

Scissors Position

Scissors Position is a side-lying sex position where partners lie at an angle to each other with their legs interlocked like an open pair of scissors, allowing slow, relaxed penetration.

Scratching

Scratching is dragging your nails across a partner’s skin during sex or play, from light, teasing trails that raise goosebumps to firm strokes that leave red marks.

Seated Reverse Cowgirl

Seated Reverse Cowgirl is a sex position where one partner sits on a chair, sofa or bed edge and leans back while the other sits on their lap facing away.

Secondary Partner

A secondary partner is, in hierarchical polyamory, a partner who shares fewer commitments, less time and less say in big decisions than the primary partner, while the relationship can still be deeply loving.

Self-Bondage

Self-Bondage is restraining yourself with rope, cuffs, tape or other gear for solo play, a practice that needs a guaranteed, tested way out every single time.

Self-Determination Act

The Self-Determination Act is a German law in force since November 2024 that lets trans, intersex and non-binary people change their gender entry and first names by simple declaration at the registry office.

Semen Retention

Semen retention is the practice of deliberately avoiding ejaculation for long periods, sometimes while still having sex or orgasms, in the belief that keeping semen brings health or energy benefits.

Sensate Focus

Sensate Focus is a structured touch exercise from sex therapy in which partners take turns touching each other without the goal of arousal or orgasm, to reduce pressure and rediscover sensation.

Sensation Play

Sensation Play is playing with contrasting physical feelings such as hot and cold, soft and sharp, or tickly and firm, to heighten arousal and body awareness.

Sensation Slut

Sensation Slut is kink slang for someone who craves intense physical sensations of every kind, from scratching and ice to vibration and impact, without needing pain to be the point.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is taking away one or more senses, with a blindfold, earplugs, a hood or restraints, so that the remaining senses feel sharper and every touch hits harder.

Sensualist

A Sensualist is someone who prefers slow, sensual play built on touch, closeness and anticipation over intensity or pain, savouring every sensation instead of chasing a rush.

Serial Monogamy

Serial monogamy means having one exclusive relationship after another, never two at the same time.

Service Sub

A service sub is a submissive who finds fulfilment in serving their partner through tasks, care and attention, rather than mainly through pain or intense sensation.

Service Top

A service top is someone who does the active part of a scene, like spanking or tying, mainly for the bottom’s pleasure rather than to be in control.

Servitude & Tasks

Servitude & Tasks is a form of power exchange where a submissive completes assigned acts of service or specific tasks for a dominant, from everyday chores to symbolic rituals.

Seven-Year Itch

The seven-year itch is the popular idea that couples hit a crisis of restlessness, boredom or temptation after about seven years together, though research suggests no fixed turning point.

Sex Club

A sex club is a venue made for consensual sex between guests, with themed rooms, play areas and house rules, where adults can meet, watch and play.

Sex Dice

Sex dice are dice printed with actions, body parts or positions instead of numbers, rolled to decide what happens next during foreplay or sex.

Sex Doll

A sex doll is a life-size, adult-looking doll made for sex, ranging from simple inflatable models to realistic dolls made of silicone or TPE.

Sex Furniture

Sex furniture is padded wedges, ramps, cubes and similar shapes that hold your body in a supportive position or angle during sex, so you can relax and go longer.

Sex Games

Sex games are erotic games like Truth or Dare, strip poker, sex dice or card games that turn flirting, teasing and sex into playful challenges with rules.

Sex Robots & AI Companions

Sex robots and AI companions are robotic sex dolls with some built-in AI and chat apps that act as a partner, designed for intimacy, conversation and company.

Sex Swing

A sex swing is a frame of straps and seat slings, hung from a ceiling, doorframe or stand, that supports your body for weightless positions that are hard to hold otherwise.

Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps individuals and couples with sexual problems such as low desire, pain, erection or orgasm difficulties, shame or mismatched needs.

Sex Toy Subscription

A sex toy subscription is a service that sends you a discreet box of sex toys, lube or accessories on a regular schedule, often monthly or quarterly, for a recurring fee.

Sex Wedge

A sex wedge is a firm, triangular foam pillow that lifts and supports the hips or body during sex, changing the angle of penetration and taking strain off knees, back and arms.

Sex with a Stranger

Sex with a Stranger means meeting someone for the first time and going straight to bed, skipping the usual dating and getting-to-know-you phase.

Sex Work

Sex Work is selling sexual services or erotic performances as a job, from escorting and camming to stripping and professional domination, between consenting adults.

Sex-Positive

Sex-positive describes an attitude that sees consensual sex, kink and every sexual identity as a healthy part of life, free from shame and judgment.

Sex-Positive Party

A Sex-Positive Party is a party where sex, nudity and play are welcome but never expected, held under clear consent rules that every guest agrees to.

Sex-Repulsed, Sex-Neutral & Sex-Favorable

Sex-repulsed, sex-neutral and sex-favorable describe how someone, often an asexual person, feels about having sex themselves: put off by it, indifferent to it, or open to enjoying it.

Sexting

Sexting is exchanging sexually explicit messages, photos, videos or voice notes digitally, a form of flirting and foreplay at a distance between consenting adults.

Sextortion

Sextortion is blackmail using intimate images or videos, where someone threatens to share them unless you send money or more images.

Sexual Boredom

Sexual boredom is the feeling that sex has become predictable, repetitive or dull, usually in a long relationship, often leading to less desire and less sex.

Sexual Coercion

Sexual coercion is pressuring someone into sex or sexual acts through guilt, threats, nagging or manipulation, often by pushing on after they have already said no.

Sexual Compatibility

Sexual compatibility describes how well two people’s desires, kinks, libido, intimacy style and boundaries fit together, and it can grow through honest communication.

Sexual History Talk

Sexual History Talk means sharing the parts of your sexual past that matter to a new partner, like experience, practices, recent partners and your last STI test.

Sexual Mentorship

Sexual Mentorship is when one adult genuinely teaches another sexual technique, anatomy or practice, a real transfer of knowledge rather than a roleplay.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation is who you are sexually attracted to, if anyone, for example people of another gender, the same gender, several genders or no one.

Sexual Response Cycle

The sexual response cycle is a model of the physical and emotional phases people move through during sex, usually described as desire, arousal, orgasm and resolution.

Sexual Script

A sexual script is a learned set of unwritten rules about how sex is supposed to go, who does what, in which order and what counts as “real” sex.

Sexual Self-Esteem

Sexual self-esteem is how comfortable, confident and worthy you feel as a sexual being, including how you see your body, your desires and your right to pleasure.

Sexual Shame

Sexual shame is the deep feeling that your desires, body, fantasies or sexual behaviour are wrong, dirty or unacceptable, often learned early and carried into adult relationships.

Sexually Fluid

Sexually fluid means your attraction can shift over time.

Sharing Fantasies

Sharing fantasies is telling a partner what you secretly think about or desire, without judgment and without any pressure to act it out.

Sharing Past Experiences

Sharing past experiences is telling a partner erotic stories about previous lovers or encounters, as dirty talk, as foreplay or as a way to reveal what turns you on.

Shaving Play

Shaving Play is shaving a partner, often the pubic area, as intimate play, where trust in a blade on sensitive skin, control and the feel of smooth skin create the thrill.

Shibari

Shibari is Japanese-style rope bondage, tying the body with rope in decorative patterns for restraint, sensation and aesthetics, sometimes all the way to suspension.

Shoe Fetish

Shoe Fetish is sexual arousal from shoes, most often high heels and boots, whether it’s looking at them, touching them, smelling them or seeing a partner wear them.

Shooting Porn

Shooting porn means performing for the camera with planned scenes, takes and angles, creating material that is made to be watched by people other than yourselves.

Shower Together

Showering together is sharing a shower with a partner, an intimate, practical and often surprisingly erotic mix of washing, touching and closeness.

Side

Side is a label for gay or bi men who enjoy sex and intimacy without anal penetration, preferring things like oral sex, kissing, mutual touching or rubbing.

Side Saddle

Side Saddle is a sex position where one partner lies on their back and the other sits on top of them sideways, both legs off to one side, like riding side-saddle.

Side-by-Side

Side-by-Side is a sex position where both partners lie on their sides facing each other, legs intertwined, for slow, close and relaxed sex.

Silent Play

Silent play is the thrill of having sex while staying completely quiet, so nobody nearby hears a thing, whether that’s neighbours, flatmates or the next hotel room.

Silicone Lube

Silicone lube is a lubricant made from silicone oils that stays slippery much longer than water-based lube, works in water and is safe with latex condoms, but can damage silicone toys.

Simp

Simp is slang for someone who does way too much to win a person’s attention or affection, usually without getting much back.

Simultaneous Orgasm

Simultaneous Orgasm is when two partners climax at the same moment or within a few seconds of each other, a goal many couples chase but few reach often.

Single Male

Single Male is a swinger term for a man who joins swinger events, clubs or couples on his own, without a partner.

Sir

Sir is a common honorific a submissive uses for a male or masculine dominant partner, showing respect and marking the agreed power dynamic in a scene or relationship.

Sissification

Sissification is a feminization kink in which a man, by his own choice, is dressed and treated as an ultra-feminine “sissy”, often with submission or playful humiliation.

Sissy

Sissy is a kink role, usually taken on by a man, in which a person plays a hyper-feminine, submissive character in consensual play.

Situationship

A situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that’s more than casual but has never been defined as a relationship.

Size Kink

Size Kink is arousal from a big difference in size between partners, whether in height, body build or genitals, including giant and tiny fantasies in fiction.

Size Queen

Size Queen is a slang term for someone who loves well-endowed partners or big toys and finds size a big part of what turns them on.

Skoliosexual

Skoliosexual means being attracted to people who are nonbinary or genderqueer.

Sleep Divorce

Sleep divorce is when partners choose to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms to get better sleep, while staying together and keeping their relationship and intimacy intact.

Sleep Over

A sleep over means a partner or date stays the night, with a clear agreement beforehand on what that means, what is expected and what is not.

Sleep Play

Sleep Play is a pre-negotiated fantasy where one partner is touched or has sex while asleep, or more often while pretending to sleep, based on clear agreements made beforehand.

Sling

A sling is a hammock-like seat of leather or canvas hung from chains or straps, which holds one partner reclined with legs raised and open for sex, fisting or long scenes.

Sloppy Seconds

Sloppy Seconds is slang for having sex with someone right after another partner has, often after that partner came, typically in gangbangs, swinging or hot wife and cuckold dynamics.

Slow Fade

A slow fade is ending a romantic connection by gradually replying less, cancelling plans and pulling back, instead of saying clearly that it’s over.

Slow Sex

Slow Sex is an unhurried, mindful way of being intimate that focuses on touch, breath and presence instead of speed, performance or reaching orgasm quickly.

Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming is judging, mocking or insulting someone for their sex life, clothing, desires or number of partners, often based on double standards.

Smart Toy Privacy

Smart toy privacy is the question of what data app-controlled and connected sex toys collect, such as usage times, settings, chats or location, and how to keep that intimate data protected.

Smash or Pass

Smash or Pass is a game where you see a celebrity or fictional character and quickly say whether you would hook up with them (smash) or not (pass).

Smoking Fetish

Smoking Fetish is sexual arousal from watching someone smoke, focused on details like the lips around a cigarette, the hand movements, the inhale and the slow exhale of smoke.

Smut

Smut is slang for explicit erotic writing, especially spicy romance books and fan fiction with sex scenes on the page, a word readers now use with pride rather than shame.

Sneaker Fetish

Sneaker Fetish is sexual arousal from sneakers, from how they look on someone to their smell, feel and the act of wearing, worshipping or trampling in them, especially popular among gay men.

Sneaky Link

A sneaky link is someone you hook up with secretly, meeting up on the low without friends, family or social media knowing about it.

Snow Angel

Snow Angel is an oral sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back and the giving partner kneels or lies at their head, facing their feet, and leans over their body.

Snowballing

Snowballing is a sexual act in which one partner takes semen into their mouth after oral sex and then passes it into another person’s mouth with a kiss.

Sober Play

Sober play is an agreement that all sex or kink play happens without alcohol, cannabis or other substances, so everyone can consent and react with a clear head.

Sock Fetish

Sock Fetish is sexual arousal from socks, whether brand-new or worn, focused on how they look on feet, how they feel to the touch or how worn ones smell.

Soft Butch

Soft butch describes a lesbian, sapphic or queer person whose style and vibe lean masculine like butch, but with softer, more feminine touches in look, manner or attitude.

Soft Dom

A Soft Dom is a caring, gentle dominant who leads with praise, tenderness and reassurance instead of harshness, while still being clearly in charge.

Soft Ghosting

Soft ghosting is responding to someone’s messages only with a like, a reaction or an emoji, never a real reply, so the conversation quietly dies without being officially ended.

Soft Launch & Hard Launch

Soft launch and hard launch describe how you reveal a new partner online, either by only hinting at them or by showing them openly with face and name.

Soft Limit

A soft limit is something a person feels hesitant about but might try under the right conditions, such as more trust, a slower pace or extra safety measures.

Soft Swap

Soft swap is a swinging arrangement where two couples play with each other’s partners, kissing, touching, oral, but stop short of penetrative sex with anyone except their own partner.

Soft Touch

Soft touch is slow, feather-light contact on the skin, the opposite of rough play, used to calm, tease and build deep, sensual arousal.

Solo Poly

Solo poly means having several relationships while staying your own main partner: no shared home, no primary couple.

Sologamy

Sologamy is marrying yourself in a symbolic ceremony, a public commitment to self-love and your own path that has no legal effect but can mean a lot to the person.

Soul Gazing

Soul gazing is holding sustained eye contact with a partner in stillness, often for several minutes, as a deeply vulnerable and meditative form of intimacy.

Spandex Fetish

Spandex Fetish is sexual arousal from tight, stretchy and often shiny fabric like spandex, Lycra or elastane, from how it hugs the body to how smooth it feels.

Spanking

Spanking is striking the buttocks with an open hand or an implement, for sensation, playful dominance or punishment roleplay.

Spanking Bench

A Spanking Bench is a padded bench that a person kneels on or lies over, positioning the buttocks for spanking and impact play, often with points to attach restraints.

Spanko

Spanko is slang for someone who loves spanking, whether giving it as a spanker, receiving it as a spankee, or enjoying both sides.

Spectatoring

Spectatoring is mentally stepping outside yourself during sex to watch and judge how you look or perform, instead of staying present with what you feel.

Speculum

A speculum is a medical instrument that gently holds a vaginal or anal opening wide, used in medical play for its clinical, exposing and deeply intimate feel.

Spicy

Spicy is slang for sexy or sexually explicit, used for books, posts, photos and questions, and often rated with chili peppers on a scale from one to five.

The Spider

The Spider is a sex position where both partners sit facing each other, legs over one another, and lean back on their hands, moving in a slow, rocking rhythm.

Spider Gag

A spider gag is a ring gag with metal hooks or prongs around the ring that keep the mouth wide open and stop the wearer from turning the ring sideways.

Spiking

Spiking is secretly putting drugs or extra alcohol into someone’s drink, often to make them vulnerable to theft or sexual assault.

Spit Roast

Spit Roast is slang for a threesome position in which the middle partner is between two others at once, usually giving oral to one at the front while the other penetrates from behind.

Spitting

Spitting is spitting on or into a partner’s mouth or body during sex, as an act of dominance, degradation play or raw, unfiltered intimacy.

Split Attraction Model

The split attraction model is the idea that sexual and romantic attraction can be separate, so someone might be asexual but biromantic, or bisexual but heteroromantic.

Spontaneous Desire

Spontaneous desire is sexual desire that appears seemingly out of nowhere, before any touch or intimacy has started, often as a sudden thought or urge to have sex.

Spooning

Spooning is lying on your sides, one partner behind the other with your bodies curved together, either for cuddling or as a relaxed sex position.

Spork

Spork is a side-lying sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back and the other lies on their side next to them, legs interlocked, entering from the side.

Spread Eagle

Spread Eagle is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back with arms and legs stretched wide apart while the other partner lies on top or kneels between their legs.

Spreader Bar

A spreader bar is a rigid bar with cuffs at each end that holds the ankles or wrists apart, keeping a partner open, exposed and unable to close their legs or arms.

Squeeze Technique

The squeeze technique is a sex therapy method against premature ejaculation in which the penis is firmly squeezed just below the head shortly before orgasm, until the urge to ejaculate fades.

Squick

Squick is slang for a strong “ew, not for me” reaction to someone else’s kink, a personal gut feeling that says nothing bad about the kink itself.

Squirting Play

Squirting play is G-spot and pressure stimulation with squirting as the goal, exploring whether and how a person with a vulva releases fluid during arousal or orgasm.

SSC

SSC stands for Safe, Sane, Consensual, the classic BDSM principle that play should be physically safe, done with a clear mind and freely agreed to by everyone involved.

St. Andrew’s Cross

A St. Andrew’s Cross is an X-shaped frame to which a person is restrained standing, arms and legs spread, for impact play like flogging or for sensation play.

Stag & Vixen

Stag & Vixen is a dynamic where a woman has sex with other men while her male partner watches or joins in, sharing the thrill as an equal rather than being humiliated.

Stairs Position

Stairs Position is any sex position on a staircase where partners use different steps to balance out a height difference, most often from behind with the receiving partner on a higher step.

Stand and Carry

Stand and Carry is a standing sex position where one partner lifts and holds the other, who wraps their legs around the standing partner’s hips and their arms around their neck.

Standing 69

Standing 69 is an acrobatic oral sex position where one partner stands and holds the other upside down against their body, so both can give and receive oral sex at the same time.

Standing Doggy

Standing Doggy is a sex position where the receiving partner stands and bends forward over a bed, table or other surface while the other partner stands behind them and enters from behind.

Standing Sex

Standing sex is having sex while at least one partner stands, for example against a wall, in the shower or bent over a surface.

Stashing

Stashing, also called pocketing, means keeping a partner hidden from your friends, family and social media, so the relationship stays invisible to the rest of your life.

Stealth

Stealth describes trans people who live in their gender without the people around them knowing they’re trans, deciding for themselves who, if anyone, learns about their history.

Stealthing

Stealthing is secretly removing or damaging a condom during sex without the other person’s consent, which makes it a violation of consent, not a kink.

Stem

Stem is a lesbian identity and style that sits between stud and femme, mixing masculine and feminine expression, used especially in Black and Latina queer communities.

Sterilization

Sterilization is a permanent form of contraception in which a doctor blocks, cuts or removes the tubes that carry sperm or eggs, through a vasectomy or a tubal sterilization.

STI

STI stands for sexually transmitted infection, any infection caused by bacteria, viruses or parasites that can pass from one person to another during sex or close intimate contact.

STI Talk

An STI talk is an open conversation with a partner about sexual health, recent test results, current status and protection, ideally before any sexual contact.

STI Testing

STI Testing means regular tests for sexually transmitted infections such as HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea, a routine part of responsible sex for anyone with partners.

Stocks

Stocks are bondage furniture modeled on the historical pillory, a wooden frame with cutouts that lock the head and wrists, leaving the person bent over, exposed and helpless.

Stone

Stone describes a queer person, often a butch lesbian, who prefers giving sexual pleasure and doesn’t want to be touched, or only in limited ways.

Stonewall

Stonewall refers to the uprising that began on 28 June 1969 at the Stonewall Inn in New York, when queer patrons fought back against a police raid and sparked the modern Pride movement.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is shutting down during a conflict, going silent, looking away and refusing to engage, until the other person feels like they’re talking to a wall.

Stop-Start Technique

The stop-start technique is a sex therapy method in which stimulation is paused just before orgasm and resumed once arousal drops, to build ejaculatory control and last longer.

Straitjacket

A straitjacket is a jacket with extra-long, closed sleeves that wrap the arms crossed in front of the body and buckle behind the back, used in bondage for full upper-body restraint.

Stranger Roleplay

Stranger Roleplay is a fantasy where partners who know each other pretend to be strangers meeting for the very first time, often in a bar, hotel or another public place.

Strap-On

A strap-on is a dildo worn in a harness around the hips, used for penetrative sex such as pegging, sex between women or playful gender role reversal.

Strapless Strap-On

A Strapless Strap-On is a double-ended dildo with a bulb-shaped end that the wearer holds inside their vagina with their pelvic floor muscles, so it works without a harness.

Striptease

A striptease is slowly and playfully undressing for a partner or audience, turning the reveal into a performance built on anticipation, music and eye contact.

Stud

Stud is a term for a masculine-presenting lesbian, rooted in Black and Latina lesbian communities in the US, close to butch but with its own culture.

Sub

A sub is the person who hands over control in a consensual power exchange, by choice and within limits agreed beforehand with their Dom.

Sub Drop

Sub Drop is the emotional and physical low a submissive partner can feel after intense BDSM play, sometimes right away and sometimes a day or two later.

Sub Frenzy

Sub frenzy is the rush of excitement when someone discovers submission and wants to try everything at once, often faster than their limits and caution can keep up.

Subspace

Subspace is the floaty, euphoric, sometimes dreamy state of mind a submissive partner can reach during intense BDSM play, often linked to a rush of endorphins and adrenaline.

Suction Cup Play

Suction cup play is using cups, pumps or suckers to pull skin upward, creating pressure, intense localised sensation and often round marks that last a few days.

Suction Toy

A suction toy is a sex toy that creates suction or pulsing air pressure around the clitoris or nipple, giving a focused, intense sensation without any rubbing.

Sugar Relationship

A sugar relationship is an arrangement between adults where a wealthier partner, the sugar daddy or sugar mommy, offers money or gifts to a sugar baby for company and intimacy.

Supernova

Supernova is a sex position at the edge of the bed where one partner lies back with their hips near the edge and the other straddles them in cowgirl, both leaning back.

Suspension Bondage

Suspension Bondage is an advanced form of rope bondage in which a person is lifted partly or fully off the ground and held by ropes from a secure point above.

Swinger Club

A swinger club is a venue where couples, and often selected singles, meet to socialise, flirt and have sex with others under house rules built on consent.

Swinger Holiday

A swinger holiday is a trip to an adults-only resort or themed cruise made for swingers and open couples, where flirting and play are part of the setting.

Swinger Party

A swinger party is a social event where couples and sometimes singles meet to flirt, swap partners or have sex openly in a consensual, non-judgmental setting.

Swinging

Swinging means couples playing sexually with other couples or singles, usually together and in the same room.

Switch

A switch is someone who enjoys both the dominant and the submissive side, or both top and bottom, depending on the partner, the mood or the scene.

Syphilis

Syphilis is a bacterial STI that usually starts with a painless sore, can affect the whole body if untreated and is curable with antibiotics, especially when caught early.

T-Square

T-Square is a low-effort sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back with legs over the other partner, who lies on their side at a right angle, so your bodies form a T.

T4T

T4T, short for trans for trans, describes trans people who date, desire or form relationships with other trans people, and more broadly a sense of solidarity within trans communities.

Taboo Roleplay

Taboo Roleplay is when consenting adults act out a scenario that feels forbidden, like boss and employee, teacher and adult student, strangers or the risk of getting caught, purely as a game.

Tail Plug

A tail plug is an anal plug with an animal tail attached, popular in pet play for pups, kittens and ponies, and for playful costumes.

Talking Stage

The talking stage is the phase of texting, flirting and getting to know someone before you’re officially dating or have agreed to be exclusive.

Tantra

Tantra, in a sexual context, is slow, intentional intimacy that focuses on breath, energy and presence and puts connection ahead of climax.

Tantra Party

A Tantra Party is a group event built around tantra-inspired touch, breathwork, eye contact and guided exercises, where intimacy is slow and mindful and sex may or may not happen.

Teacher Roleplay

Teacher Roleplay is a fantasy between adults where one plays a teacher or tutor and the other an adult student, with knowledge, authority and approval as the turn-on.

Teaching What I Like

Teaching what I like is showing or telling a partner exactly how you want to be touched, with words, a demonstration or by guiding their hand.

Teasing

Teasing is building arousal slowly and deliberately, with touch, words or toys, while holding back release, so desire keeps growing until you decide to give in.

Teledildonics

Teledildonics is the term for app- and internet-controlled sex toys that a partner can operate from anywhere, bringing touch and pleasure across any distance.

Temperature Play

Temperature Play is using hot and cold sensations on the skin, like ice cubes, warm massage oil, wax or heated and chilled toys, to heighten arousal through contrast.

TENS Unit

A TENS unit is a small battery-powered device that sends mild electrical pulses through sticky skin pads, made for pain relief but also used in kink for tingling electrostimulation below the waist.

Tentacle Fantasy

Tentacle Fantasy is an erotic fantasy about being touched, held or pleasured by tentacled creatures, a genre best known from Japanese anime and manga and explored by adults through fiction, art and toys.

Testicles

The testicles are the two oval glands inside the scrotum that produce sperm and the hormone testosterone, and they are very sensitive to touch and pressure.

Third Gender

Third gender describes gender categories beyond woman and man that many cultures recognise, such as the hijra in South Asia, and legal options like Germany’s “divers” entry.

Thirst Trap

A thirst trap is a sexy or flattering photo or video posted on social media to get attention, likes and compliments, often playfully on purpose.

Threesome

A threesome is sex between three people at the same time, in any mix of genders, with everyone involved agreeing to what happens.

Throne

Throne is an oral sex position where the receiving partner sits on a chair, sofa or bed edge like on a throne while the giving partner kneels in front of them.

Throuple

A throuple is a committed relationship between three people who are all together, as one unit.

Throwing Shade

Throwing shade is making a subtle, witty dig at someone, an insult wrapped in politeness or a knowing look, a term that comes from Black and Latino queer ballroom culture.

Thrusting Vibrator

A thrusting vibrator is a vibrator with a built-in motor that moves the shaft in and out by itself, imitating the motion of penetrative sex without any work from your wrist.

Tickling

Tickling is light, teasing touch that triggers laughter, squirming and heightened sensitivity, often enjoyed as a mix of fun, vulnerability and playful control.

Timestop Roleplay

Timestop Roleplay is a fantasy where one partner pretends to be frozen in time, completely still and unaware, while the other is free to explore their body as agreed beforehand.

Titjob

A Titjob is a sexual act in which a penis slides between a partner’s breasts while they are pressed together, usually with lube, for stimulation without penetration.

Top

A top is the person doing the action in a scene, such as spanking or tying, which doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the one in charge.

Top Drop

Top Drop is the emotional low a top or Dom can feel after an intense scene, often mixing exhaustion, doubt or guilt once the adrenaline wears off.

Top Energy

Top Energy is slang for a vibe that reads as confident, leading and in control, judged from someone’s behaviour, style or attitude rather than their actual role in bed.

Top Surgery & Bottom Surgery

Top Surgery and Bottom Surgery are everyday terms for gender-affirming operations, top surgery on the chest and bottom surgery on the genitals, for trans and non-binary people who want them.

Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom means a sub or bottom tries to steer a scene from below, directing what the top does instead of letting them lead.

Touch Starvation

Touch starvation is the state of going without physical touch for a long time, which can leave you feeling lonely, tense, low or craving closeness, even without wanting sex.

Toy Cleaner

A toy cleaner is a spray, foam or wash made to clean sex toys gently and hygienically, removing bacteria, body fluids and lube without damaging silicone, rubber or other materials.

Toy Layering

Toy Layering is using several sex toys at the same time, for example an internal toy with an external vibrator, to combine sensations into something more intense.

TPE

TPE stands for Total Power Exchange, a consensual D/s relationship in which the submissive partner hands control to the dominant partner in nearly all areas of life.

Traffic Light System

The traffic light system is a three-color safeword system where green means keep going, yellow means slow down or check in, and red means stop completely.

Trainer

A Trainer is the dominant partner who teaches a sub or a pet, like a pony or pup, agreed rules, positions and behaviour through practice, rewards and consistent correction.

Trampling

Trampling is standing, walking or pressing your feet on a partner’s body, a form of dominance through weight that ranges from gentle foot pressure to full standing.

Trans

Trans describes people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth, including trans women, trans men and many non-binary people.

Transition

Transition is the process of social, legal and medical steps a trans person may take to live as their gender, from a new name and pronouns to hormones or surgery.

Transmasc & Transfem

Transmasc and transfem are umbrella terms for trans people whose gender leans masculine or feminine, including trans men, trans women and non-binary people on either side.

Transsexual

Transsexual is an older term for trans people, especially those who transition medically, rooted in 20th-century medicine and now seen by many as outdated, though some still use it for themselves.

Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding is a strong emotional attachment to someone who hurts you, formed through repeated cycles of abuse followed by affection, apologies or relief, which makes leaving very hard.

Triad

A triad is a relationship of three people where each person is involved with both others.

Tribbing

Tribbing is when two people rub their vulvas against each other for pleasure, a classic of sex between people with vulvas that is often called scissoring.

Trichomoniasis

Trichomoniasis is a common sexually transmitted infection caused by a tiny parasite, often without symptoms, easy to test for and curable with a short course of medication.

Triggers Talk

Triggers Talk is the conversation where you share your known triggers with a partner before sex or play, so they can steer around them and know what helps if one hits.

Tucking

Tucking is hiding the penis and testicles to create a smooth, flat look between the legs, used by many trans women, non-binary people and drag performers.

Twink

Twink is gay slang for an adult man with a slim, slender build and little or no body hair, one of the body-type “tribes” in gay culture.

Two-Spirit

Two-Spirit is an umbrella term used by some Indigenous people in North America for gender and sexual diversity, rooted in their own cultures and traditions.

Tying Up

Tying Up is restraining a partner with rope, fabric, cuffs or straps so they can’t move freely, for the thrill of surrender, control and anticipation.

U-Haul Lesbian

U-Haul lesbian is a running joke and meme about lesbian and sapphic couples who move in together very quickly, sometimes after just a few dates.

U=U

U=U stands for “undetectable equals untransmittable”, meaning people with HIV whose viral load stays undetectable thanks to effective treatment don’t pass HIV on through sex.

Underwear Fetish

An underwear fetish is strong arousal from underwear or lingerie, from seeing, touching, wearing or smelling it, whether on a partner or on yourself.

Unicorn

A unicorn is a single person who joins couples, usually as the third in a threesome or a short-term triad.

Unicorn Hunting

Unicorn Hunting is slang for a couple, often a man and a bisexual woman, searching for a single third person, usually a bi woman, to join them.

Uniform Fetish

Uniform Fetish is sexual arousal from uniforms and the authority, competence or role they stand for, from police and military to nurse or pilot outfits.

Urethral Sounding

Urethral Sounding is the practice of slowly inserting smooth, sterile rods called sounds into the urethra of a penis for intense internal stimulation.

Vacation Sex

Vacation Sex is the sex people have while traveling or on holiday, often more frequent and passionate because stress, routines and to-do lists stay at home.

Vacuum Bed

A vacuum bed is a frame holding two latex sheets, with a person lying between them breathing through a tube while a vacuum pulls the latex skin-tight and holds them completely still.

Vagina

The vagina is the stretchy, muscular canal that leads from the vulva to the cervix, which expands and lubricates during arousal and is not the same as the vulva outside.

Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness is a lack of natural moisture in the vagina that can make sex uncomfortable or painful, caused by low arousal, hormonal changes, medication, stress or irritation.

Vaginal Orgasm

A Vaginal Orgasm is an orgasm reached through vaginal penetration without direct clitoral touch, often via the G-spot area or the inner parts of the clitoris that surround the vagina.

Vaginal Ring

A vaginal ring is a soft, flexible plastic ring you place in your vagina yourself, where it releases estrogen and progestin for three weeks to prevent pregnancy.

Vaginismus

Vaginismus is an involuntary tightening of the muscles around the vaginal opening that makes penetration with a penis, fingers, toys or tampons painful or impossible.

Valedictorian

Valedictorian is a sex position where the receiving partner lies on their back with legs raised straight up and spread into a V, while the kneeling partner holds their ankles.

Valley Orgasm

A Valley Orgasm is a long, wave-like state of high pleasure reached through slow, relaxed, often tantric sex, where you stay near the edge instead of chasing one sharp peak.

Vanilla

Vanilla describes sex or people without kink, meaning conventional sex without BDSM, fetishes or power play, and it’s a neutral description rather than an insult.

Vanilla Party

A Vanilla Party is a gathering that starts as an ordinary party, with drinks and small talk, and gradually turns sexual for the guests who want that.

Vasectomy

A vasectomy is a minor surgical procedure in which the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles are cut or sealed, making a person with a penis permanently infertile.

Vee Relationship

A vee is a polyamorous setup where one person has two partners who aren’t romantically involved with each other.

Vers

Vers, short for versatile, describes someone who enjoys both topping and bottoming, switching between the giving and receiving role depending on partner and mood.

Veto

Veto is a polyamory agreement that gives one partner, usually a primary, the right to ask the other to end or not start another relationship.

Vetting

Vetting is checking a new partner’s references, reputation and consistency before you play with them, so you know who you’re trusting with your body and your limits.

Vibrating Butt Plug

A Vibrating Butt Plug is an anal plug with a built-in motor and a flared base, often controlled by remote or app, worn for anal stimulation and, in people with a prostate, prostate stimulation.

Vibrating Cock Ring

A vibrating cock ring is a stretchy ring worn at the base of the penis with a small built-in vibrator, which firms the erection and stimulates the clitoris, vulva or perineum during sex.

Vibrating Dildo

A vibrating dildo is a sex toy shaped for penetration with a built-in motor, combining the fullness of a dildo with vibration, for solo play or with a partner.

Vibrating Panties

Vibrating panties are underwear with a small built-in or clip-in vibrator, often controlled by a remote or an app, made for discreet teasing.

Vibrator

A vibrator is a sex toy that vibrates, used for external stimulation, like on the clitoris or nipples, or for internal stimulation inside the vagina or anus.

Violet Wand

A violet wand is a handheld electro toy that produces high-voltage, low-current electricity through a glowing glass electrode, giving tingling sensations and small visible sparks wherever it nears the skin.

Virginity

Virginity is the idea of not yet having had sex, a social concept that people define very differently, and that no body part or test can prove.

Voguing

Voguing is a stylised dance from Black and Latino queer ballroom culture in New York, built on sharp poses, precise arm and hand movements, catwalks, spins and dramatic dips.

Voice Kink

Voice Kink is being turned on by someone’s voice, whether it’s the depth, the tone, a certain accent or the words it says.

Vore

Vore is a fantasy about swallowing someone or being swallowed whole, explored only through art, stories and roleplay, often with giants, monsters or fantasy creatures, and never as a real act.

Voyeurism

Voyeurism is the erotic pleasure of watching others undress or have sex, in kink always with the full knowledge and agreement of the people being watched.

VR Porn

VR Porn is pornography filmed or animated for virtual reality, watched through a headset in 180 or 360 degrees, so viewers feel as if they are inside the scene.

Vulva

The vulva is the visible outer part of the genitals, including the mons, outer and inner labia, clitoral glans and hood, and the openings of the urethra and vagina.

Vulvodynia

Vulvodynia is long-lasting pain, burning or soreness in the vulva for at least 3 months without a clear identifiable cause such as an infection or skin condition.

Walk of Shame

Walk of Shame is slang for the trip home the morning after a hookup, often still in last night’s clothes, now often reclaimed as the stride of pride.

Wand Vibrator

A wand vibrator is a large external vibrator with a long handle and a round, padded head that delivers broad, deep and very powerful vibrations.

Wartenberg Wheel

A Wartenberg wheel, also called a pinwheel, is a small handheld wheel with sharp metal spikes that is rolled over the skin for a prickly, intense sensation.

Watching Porn

Watching porn together is sharing adult content with a partner as foreplay, fantasy fuel or an easy way to discover what you both like.

Water-Based Lube

Water-based lube is a lubricant with water as its main ingredient that works with every condom and sex toy material, feels natural and washes off easily, but dries out faster than silicone lube.

Waterfall

Waterfall is a sex position where one partner lies on the bed with head and shoulders hanging off the edge, head lower than the hips, while the other partner is on top.

Wax Play

Wax play is dripping melted candle wax onto a partner’s skin for a burst of heat, a thrill of surprise and temporary marks that peel off afterwards.

Wax Play Candle

A wax play candle is a candle made from low-melting paraffin or soy blends, designed to drip wax onto skin at a lower temperature than ordinary household candles.

Weaponized Incompetence

Weaponized incompetence is doing a task badly, or claiming you can’t do it, so that your partner gives up and takes it over, leaving them with more of the work.

Wet Dream

A wet dream is a sexual dream that leads to an orgasm while you sleep, with or without ejaculation, and it can happen to people of any gender.

Wheelbarrow

The Wheelbarrow is an acrobatic standing sex position where one partner supports themselves on their hands while the other stands behind and holds their legs up like wheelbarrow handles.

Whip

A whip is a long, tapered, flexible impact tool, usually leather, ranging from a light flick to a sharp crack, and one of the most skill-demanding implements in BDSM.

Whispering & ASMR

Whispering and ASMR in intimacy means soft words, breath and gentle sounds close to a partner’s ear, something that feels disarming and, for some people, intensely physical.

Window Period

The window period is the time between a possible exposure to an infection and the point when a test can reliably detect it, so earlier tests may give false negatives.

Wingman & Wingwoman

A wingman or wingwoman is a friend who helps you meet and talk to someone you’re interested in, by breaking the ice, talking you up and having your back.

WLW & MLM

WLW & MLM stand for “women loving women” and “men loving men”, inclusive umbrella terms for same-gender attraction and relationships, whatever someone’s exact orientation label.

Wrestling Play

Wrestling play is consensual physical struggle between partners, pushing, pinning and fighting for control, either playful and giggly or intense, often leading into sex or a power exchange.

X Position

X Position is a slow sex position where partners face each other and lean back until their bodies, with legs crossed between them, form an X, moving in small, gentle motions.

Xenogender

Xenogender is an umbrella term for non-binary genders that people describe through concepts beyond woman and man, such as nature, animals, colours, sounds or feelings.

XXX

XXX is a label for explicit adult content, used for porn, adult websites and anything rated strictly for grown-ups.

Yeast Infection

A yeast infection is a common fungal infection, usually caused by Candida yeast, that affects the vulva and vagina or the penis and causes itching, burning, redness and discharge.

Yes/No/Maybe List

A Yes/No/Maybe List is a checklist where you rate sexual activities as yes, no or maybe, then share it with a partner so you both see the full picture.

YKINMK

YKINMK stands for “Your Kink Is Not My Kink”, often extended with “but your kink is okay”, a way of saying something isn’t for you without judging it.

Yoni Massage

Yoni Massage is a slow, tantra-inspired massage of the vulva and the whole body, focused on presence, breathing and sensation rather than on reaching orgasm.

Zaddy

Zaddy is slang for an attractive, stylish and confident man, often a little older, who looks good and knows it.

Zentai

Zentai is a skin-tight full-body suit, usually made of spandex, that covers everything including the face and is worn for fun, performance or as a fetish.

Zombieing

Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you suddenly comes back into your messages, often with a casual “hey stranger”, acting as if nothing happened.