Kink Talk – What does Femme mean?
Femme
Femme describes a queer person, often a lesbian or bi woman, who expresses their gender in a feminine way and embraces that femininity as part of their queer identity.
What does Femme mean?
Femme comes from the French word for woman and has been used in lesbian communities for decades, traditionally alongside butch. It describes a queer person with a feminine expression who embraces that femininity as part of their queer identity. Femme is about style, attitude and identity, not about who someone dates. Today the term is used by lesbian, bi and pan women, trans women and nonbinary people, and some gay men use it too.
What’s the difference between femme and butch?
Femme stands for a feminine queer expression, butch for a masculine one. Historically, butch and femme formed a well-known pairing in lesbian culture, but femmes date femmes, butches date butches, and plenty of people are in between or use neither label. Both are identities in their own right, not roles that need a counterpart.
What is femme invisibility?
Femme invisibility means that feminine queer people are often assumed to be straight because they don’t match the stereotype of what queer supposedly looks like. It can mean being overlooked in queer spaces or having your identity questioned. Many femmes push back by being openly queer and treating femininity as just as valid a queer expression as any other.